Life shuttles us off on intriguing twists & turns. During a web surf yesterday morning for the Bisquick Blueberry Muffin recipe, stumbled across a link to Maria Nemeth's book, The Energy of Money, which sent me thinking about her Mastering Life's Energies - Simple Steps to a Luminous Life at Work & at Play.
The first book had an impact on my life, the second changed it.
I checked out my book cases. The Energy of Money was in clear sight, but Mastering...? Not a sign of it. Remembering the impact it had on my life, but no specific memories of why, went online & ordered it. Due Wednesday.
This morning, ready to lap up breakfast after sleeping an unheard of 12 hours (worn out after prepping/making/baking/setting out/cleaning up from yesteday's brunch for some rockin' older friends - look for a separate posting), curled up on the living room couch with a well-protected bowl (from kitties) of left-overs.
Snuggled down, with Skye waiting hopefully on my left & Renny all expectation on my right, my eyes followed a beam of light across the floor to the far wall bookcases, landing on - you guessed it - Mastering...
The Universe - such a comedian!
Written in 2007, it came into my hands in January 2008 - possibly through One Spirit Book Club. Looking at it, still hadn't a clue what about it had been so special. The title page showed 8 page numbers jotted down, so I turned to the first - page 31.
My heart breath time - all seemed stilled as I read.
Dr. Nemeth talked about a talking fish who can't describe water because it's never been in anything else, but that if once it was so filled with joy it leaped out of the water, into the air - if only for a brief second - THEN it could experience water. "There, for one instant, he observes what he has been swimming in. He knows what water is - and isn't."
That's what Dr. Nemeth wrote. Here are comments, dated 11/10, in my writing, at the bottom of the page & in the margin:
- Bottom ~ But what if, observing the water, his environment, as what it actually, is fills him with fear? What if he felt the one (air) wasn't different from the other (water) & not to be trusted?
- Margin ~ (What if the fish thought) "Don't let me see the water as separate (from the air). That terrifies!"
Goose bump time. I was describing my sense of my sister. And it matched Gray's description of Mim to everyone gathered at her memorial tribute - someone "terrified by everything."
How is it that I could experience Mim the same way as Gray, but no one else in the family could? Or maybe they did, but couldn't say it.
In five days, I will be heading up to northwestern Massachusetts for my first writing workshop. I will be heading up with a different mindset than was possible before 11/26/15, when - for the first time in my entire life - I heard someone who loved my sister speak a difficult truth about her.
Over the past 18 months, I've experienced time folding back on itself. That's how it feels, having heard Gray's loving, honest observation about her remarkable & troubled sister-of-the-heart, then reading my 2008 comments saying much the same thing. Downright spooky wonderful luminous*.
*per Dr. Nemeth - Our experience is luminous not when we are thinking about living our lives, but when we are fully engaged physically in reality. The experiences that reflect luminosity are those based on actions taken with clarity, focus, ease, and grace.
photo credit
fish out of water - - http://saleereese.com/2013/07/18/flying-sunglasses/
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