Baby, it's colllllllllllddddd outside! We were mostly housebound yesterday, but the snow still on the lower roof outside the bathroom window tells its own story - yesterday's sun couldn't get past the low temps to melt the scant bit of Sunday's flurries.
Offering up fresh thanks that my drive home from Rowe only had to deal with rain & only that to the Berkshires. Snow would have been beautiful, but not fun for a long drive. Thank you, Mother Nature!
Sunday's cold & yesterday's deep chill got me thinking about Mom, who would be in winter hibernation right now. Mom was about as fearless as they come when it comes to getting out & about, but the woman would not take a step outside if there was a chance of ice.
January - mid-March, she still got in her daily laps, except around the kitchen island or opted for the dining room-kitchen-living room loop.instead of the back yard or up & down Pheasant Run. Realizing for the first time what a pleasant walk that was, with lots of windows opening out to the back yard, over to Gallaghers, and the big bay window in the living room. She was inside, but surrounded by vistas of nature. Very important!
These were her months for serious letter writing. Mom was a great letter writer, card sender, note dasher. There's something super comforting in putting pen to paper, in saluting a friend, in signing off with an affectionate farewell, perhaps especially in addressing the envelop before affixing the stamp. A different dynamic than a digital connection. Substantive.
Mom always kept her box of stationary & pens & stamps close by, on the wide arm of the chair that Brenda always described as being in the Stickley style.
Am reminded of this by the weather & because of coming across some cards yesterday that Mim sent to me. The cards & notes, especially the rare ones she drew herself, are treasures I'll always cherish. That's the thing about cards, notes & letters - they're permanent. Mim died six months ago, but all I have to do is see her handwriting to sense her presence.
Thinking about Mim & her priceless communiques got me thinking about Gretchen Rubin, who was indirectly responsible for me reconnecting with Mim, after years of estrangement. Gretchen's engaging blog currently offers wise advise for getting past the loneliness that too often hallmarks winter's cold, dark month. Where Gretchen recommends these as great habits, even doing them occasionally can make a major difference on dank, grey days:
- Nurture others - make a special effort with your meals, bake a batch of cookies for the kids across the street, write a letter to a friend who lives by himself in another state, call your mother (or sister, brother, college friend, best buddy...).
- Connect with others - online groups are great ways to connect with people who share your interests, but can't replace doing things with others, face to face. This Friday, you'll find me at my elementary school alma mater for an after-school art group, doing fun projects with other adults. On Thursday, Southampton Library kicks off it's annual "Tea With The BBC" afternoons, featuring nibblings & a discussion about the tea being service, followed by episodes of BBC classics you can take out from the library. Tonight, I'm headed out to Trappe, PA for Manifest Your Destiny at Pillars of Light & Love. And I've participating in the online, all-year course, A Year to Clear What's Holding You Back offered for practically nothing at Daily Om, a great site for uplifting inspiration. A grannie client spends most of her nights in her senior community, so I bringing music to her, with wonderful CDs of jazz classics, DVDs of Tony Bennett & other stars in concert, arranging for friends who love to sing & play instruments to give small cozy in-home concerts, all of which she can share with other residents.
- Get better sleep - for me, getting to bed early is no guarantee of getting a good night's sleep. Strange but true - drinking a glass of warm milk or eating a ripe banana before "heading up the wooden stair" to bed can make a difference. Gretchen shares some great suggestions, too.
- Stay open - sidestep negativity, being critical & judgmental, especially about yourself
- ASK - If you're feeling lonely, ask yourself about possible whys & ways to remedy. A key question too many of is avoid is a simple, "What's missing in my life?
- Welcome silent contemplation - This is one from me, not Gretchen. My mother welcomed opportunities to be simply contemplative, to use what might look like empty moments to others to refill her spirit & soul with simple meditation. Aristotle said, ""The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness & the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival." Powerful words, especially for a culture that is increasingly unfamiliar with quiet moments, that considers empty time a defeat. The rest of Mother Nature understands that winter is an opportunity to power down, rest, restore - only stubborn humans seem clueless about the importance of silence, empty moments, the stillness that lets us be.
Credits:
1) wheretogetit.com
2) 123rf.com
3) The Happiness Project
4) yellowblissroad.com
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