Out of the house of bondage

“Women are still in emotional bondage as long as we need to worry that we might have to make a choice between being heard and being loved.” 

A comment on Facebook, posted by a beloved cousin, immediately recalled to my heart amazing qualities of my mother, Katharine Reynolds Lockhart, who - in her final years - exemplified what can happen when you take the frayed strands of life & reweave them into a stronger fabric. 

Mom was familiar with the emotional bondage of being torn between being heard or being loved.  Not being heard was her comfy place.  Except with Dad.  Dad was the fabulous outlier in her adult life.  (I say adult life, because my guess is that her father also heard her, at least if Mom's story about the  Bella peach tree is anything to go by.)  Mom & Dad were true partners, in every sense of the word.  With him, she was heard & visible & loved.

When he died so young, at 62, so did her sense of safety with being heard & loved.  One of the most courageous things I've ever seen was my mother - in her late 80s, early 90s - daring to speak her mind, especially when people she dearly loved responded as she most feared they would, with disapproval & censure.  And yet she kept on speaking, kept on expecting to be heard.  Bravery personified in one emotionally courageous elder.