But now I see

Amazing grace - it's bestowed for strangely capricious, unknowable reasons.  A wretched slave ship captain has a wondrous spiritual revelation, but someone who works in God's service might never feel touched by a similar AH HA!  It seems to me that spiritual grace is like living a life that "leads to heaven" - it really doesn't matter if you're suddenly receptive to a state of grace or if heaven truly exists, because it's living the life that matters.

Has the string of amazing experiences touching my life since January - insightful awareness after insightful awareness - been grace or finally unfolding answers long sought?  Does it matter?  I think not.  The fact is that once I was blind, but now I see. 

John Newton, who wrote Amazing Grace, is a terrific role model & inspiration.  His early life sounds like it came out of a lurid novel, filled with black deeds & misadventures.  Yet, all those things, those wretched moments that came before, are essential parts of the guiding light he became.  

Newton's great moment of grace occurred during violent storm that threatened doom to his vessel.  His skills, the sturdy ship, the able crew - nothing mattered as they were tossed about in the great crests & troughs of ocean.  In that experience of utter helplessness, he was delivered directly into the sacred.  Many who get a similar glimpse of utter enlightenment are lured back to the familiar;  for Newton, it marked the rest of his life, a life he believed started on the day of his AH HA.  To the end of his days, he recognized & held onto what mattered to him & let go of what did not. 

Newton didn't just gain spiritual sight, he put it to use, righting a dissolute life.  He was self-educated, overcame rejection to become an Anglican minister, wrote remarkable songs (he also penned Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken), and was an inspirational force behind the abolition movement in England.  He didn't simply receive God's grace - he acted on it throughout the rest of his life, even after he turned blind (what irony).

I once was lost, but now I'm found...