Far from being fazed by potential plumbing calamities, am focused on grateful we are for all the generous support - on all levels - that the two of us have received over the past thirteen years.
For years, I'd expected certain changes to happen when Mom was finally reunited with her O Best Beloved. My sibs would totally distance themselves, friends who were close to her would drop out of my life, I'd be faced with new challenges I couldn't begin to anticipate while she was still with us.
I did not expect that Mom's fall in Virginia would precipitate going through our savings at an alarming clip.
I did not expect that my country would be in a state of shock & mourning.
I did not expect to lose my job within four hours of returning to work.
I did not expect that all doors back into the corporate world would be permanently shut to me.
I did not realize that Mom going would be so much more than I could have imagined. My sibs did remain out of my life - and so did my nieces & nephews. Friends fell away - including ones I'd thought were mine, too. My role as daughter vanished - so did my my strong right arm, sidekick, confidant.
Could not foresee being stripped of every aspect of my identity & security. Except John.
Nor could I foresee the countless ways the Universe stepped up to make things bearable.
* Page Morahan - an epic woman I didn't even know - needing someone to do basic data entry of statement, someone who was reliable more than efficient after the person hired left; the job made me part of a remarkable team of women doing incredible work for an exceptional cause & took me over Thanksgiving & Christmas - my birthday was my last day at work. Goose bumps! And what was I entering into the data bank? Statements of excellence written by hundreds of applicants to a program dedicated to developing leadership in women in academic medicine. Double goose bumps!
* John being so incredibly understanding - way more than I was - with my long transition. Will always remember crying out to him, months & months & months after Mom had died, unable to find work let alone my footing, "Why is it taking so long?" and his reply, "It's taking as long as it's taking."
* The constant presence & comfort of the women & men on Mom's Mindwalker1910 online dist list - when I fell overwhelmed or on the verge, could always turn to them.
* So many people who gave us so much support in so many ways over so many difficult moments. Financially emotionally spiritually - their love & tender caring gave us the space to move to today's firmer ground, a place where we can make a difference to others in ways neither of us imagined back on 09/16/01, as we stood by Mom's bed in her room in her house, stroking her hair, holding her hand as I sang her out.
The path that John & I have chosen - the path which chose us - will always have its interesting twists & turns, hills & valleys. We do not walk it alone. Everyone who ever held us in their prayers, everyone who helped get us through financially-strapped times, everyone who let us know we were in their thoughts & hearts - all of them are with us, every step.
Setting off on my calling, doing what I can to turn our country's woeful eldering culture, know better than anyone I didn't get here on my own. The world's biggest cheerleading squad - led by Mom - are my boosters. Am blessed.
John just called. He wanted to know if he should tell his manager (at A.C. Moore) that he will be available next Wed & Thurs, or should he still take the time off for our 25th wedding anniversary, even though we can't afford to go to Porches as planned. It's thanks to all of the above that I could have the inspiration to say, "Take the time. The amount of money you'd be making will be minor compared to Steve's bill, but would be major for the fun of just being with each other on OUR DAY." Could feel John smile as he said, "Thank you, Budge."
Thank you. Thank all of you. Now & always, forever & ever.
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