power of a single word

For well over two decades, I've been awed by the power of words.  In particular, the power of a single word.  Over the past twenty-some years - aka after getting married - I've developed a particular habit that continues to stand me in truly incredible good stead.   I single out an admirable quality to cultivate.  

The first was effectiveness, a quality that felt sorely lacking in my life.  It took being stunned with my company's Employee of the Year award (complete with $1000 check & a bauble from Tiffany) to figure out that it had fully taken root & blossomed.  Still amazes.  Me?  Out of 1600 very talented employees, many downright brilliant?  I wasn't exceptional, just did what needed to be done.  Who knew it would be experienced by the folks I worked with & for as exceptional. Yup, focusing on everyday effectiveness paid off in ways I never imagined.

Next up was alignment.  No one knew more than I that my life was out of alignment.  That was how my family rolled - alignment was a foreign idea, especially after Dad died.  Not exaggerating to say the family norm was for up to pass for down, in for out, black for white.   Having John in my life helped me discover the inversion & comprehend how it worked against me.  Having nailed effectiveness, my attention turned to alignment.  Can't say I've reached the same success, but am considerably improved.  At least I can say it has taken root & that I work every day to develop it more fully.  

The most recent spotlighted word is equanimity.  It far from full blossom, but am amazed at how deeply rooted it's become over the years, how often I experience the emotional & spiritual benefits of its shelter.

Those are the three qualities I've focused on over the past 20+ years - effectiveness, alignment, equanimity.  Writing this, it strikes me that equanimity built off of alignment, which built off of effectiveness.   Just as a person can't experience interdependence without first achieving genuine independence, perhaps equanimity wasn't possible without working on the first two.  

Sigh...  No one knows better than I the difficulties that arise from lack of accessible balance & perspective.  If only I'd had even a smidgen of equanimity when Mom was still alive.  

For older friends, equanimity is a priceless part of their tool kit for dealing with the challenges associated with aging.  Ditto for anyone touching their lives.  What a great sadness it took me until after Mom passed to develop it.  

From the vantage point of 62, it's clear that one of the greatest gifts I could have given my younger self was a sense of equanimity.  It's astonishing how much easier life has gotten since it's taken deeper & deeper root.  There's no better goad for further nurturing it than when I get unhinged by a situation, which I now experience as a dark, oppressive force crushing ME.

The power of a single word.  Think about it.  Imagine if every year, all of us focused on one quality we wanted to cultivate in our lives.  Imagine if everyone with children or older relatives, bosses or associates decided to nurture equanimity.  

It took being at Omega to realize that yoga is far from the only practice to single out equanimity as THE essential quality to develop in our lives.  Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity,  Baha'i, even Stoicism - all extoll equanimity as the essential quality for understanding what is real, for "seeing" what is divine.  None of them say it is easy, just essential.

There is great power in a single word, but perhaps no word is more powerful, provides greater gifts to our self & others, than equanimity.  Back when I first pondered the possibility that focusing on a particular quality might help open a way for it to take root in my life, had NO idea it would lead to a better way to be a marriage partner, a more effective grannie listener, a more receptive & helpful friend.  

Don't need to single out the quality blessed - I am & I know it!


(cross-post from thegrannielistener.blogspot.com)