"... da champeen of Deev's mind world, in da MOST gawdy callahs Emgeenabul, is da voice sayin' ... whatevah it iz da durty rat sez to stop her dead in her tracks!"
And in the other corner - me.
Over powered, out manuevered. You can't hit what you can't see. And this opponent was/is invisible, irrational & irreconcilably non-existent. Very loud, yet very NOT. Interesting to realize all the decades of feeling UN were because of a phantom that only felt like legion. And that - check previous posts - vocal phantom still puts up a powerful fight every time I make a move out of the corner I've boxed myself into.
Right now, it feels like putting a well-trained boxer up against someone still learning the rules. But give that new boxer the right diet, the right training, the right motivation, and watch things turn around.
First round - the first round I've taken a dive on every day - is making a solid daily practice of bed by 10:30 p.m., up by 6:30 a.m.; begin with a large glass of water, repeated throughout the day; feed the cats, then do the first of THREE sets of breath work exercises, spaced throughout the day.
So far, the voice has been Lucy to my Charlie Brown, always thinking doing the same thing will get a different result. Ditch that inner picture. Instead, imagine the voice as Bluto, myself as Popeye, a pop top can of kale at the ready. Looking forward to winning my first round, then going onto to win the fight.
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