Tuesday, September 23, 2014

"I know now."

There are no three words in the English language that upset me more than those three.  And it feels like John should know that by now.  It's been 25 years.  They drove me batty when he said them the first time, umpty ump years ago - about something that he actually DID know before - and every time he's said it since.  

The sad & sorry fact is that I've put in a lot of emotional sweat equity working through a truly whacked out family & an unimaginably large amount of personal issues that I hung around my own neck.  Remarkably few things continue to take me to the deepest darkest places that took me decades to get past.  That statement is one of them.  

Because every time he uses it, it's inevitably about something that he did know, usually something that had been discussed on multiple occasions, but which he just didn't bother to take the time energy consideration to remember.  

This was so not a good evening, not for either one of us.

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