befriending my Ps

Health.  Order.  Recognition.  Wealth.  Competitiveness.  

The 5 Ps that didn't even register on my Principles radar.  Ps that, if anything, left me with a chilled frisson of UNrecognition.  Praise be, nowadays anything that registers as UN catches my inner eye as needing attention.

And a little TLC.  Health ~ Order ~ Recognition ~ Wealth ~ Competitiveness.  Each has the potential for being a wonderful, healthy, wholeness-inducing part of my life.  Each has a place in my life.  Without each, my ability to reach & lay hold of all I want to do, to accomplish is seriously diminished.

Mentioned this to someone at Saturday's farm market.  Taken aback by her response - "So what do you think are at the roots of your response?"  Was taken aback, because how would could or even should I recognize the origins of my detachment from each?!  Am letting the messed up past stay in the past & get cracking on developing fresh, positive, productive relationships with each.

Health - Oh, Lordy, does this one need attention!  It is a challenge, given that I have no employer-provided health care coverage (in the past, working for health care coverage providers, I had the best), no access to the ACA (post-tax income too low, PA governor chose to NOT expand our state's Medicaid program), and no $$ to afford medical care, not even diagnostic services.  (When you're without contracted coverage, providers can - and do - charge whatever astronomical amount they want.)  Coming up with productive next steps on this one will be a challenge. 

Order - Okay, John is totally behind helping me get into a better, happier place of order.  Have been an exceptionally messy person all my life.  Was held in from recess many times to clean out my desk or to clear out & organize my notebook.  When I drop things off in the BACNC student mail boxes, remember how JAMMED mine always was.  Don't ask how many unopened e-mails I have, most unnecessary stuff.  

Recognition - Funny that this doesn't resonate with me, since I've been consistently recognized for exceptional accomplishments from the time I started working in the corporate world.  US Healthcare, Prudential, BISYS - was highly praised for the work I did at each company, in each position. At USHC, I zoomed from an hourly customer service rep to a key member of the physician liaison team;  physicians personally called to beg me to not leave because "you're the only one who understands how the program works."  At Prudential in the mid 1990s, an executive vp from the Newark HQ singled out my online Brand Voice Bulletin newsletter for heaps of praise; never dawned on me it was cutting edge in the company - just did it because it did the job that needed doing.  At BISYS, never suspected I might be singled out from 1600+ coworkers as the 2000 employee of the year - nothing I did seemed that special, just what needed doing.  Recognition has come easily to me, but has never mattered.

Wealth - Don't get me started.  The energies around my money experiences are totally mucked up.  Have known that for decades.  When I talk about it, can see that my oldest brother considers money - and social position - to be the arbiter of someone's value.  Can see that my sister believed the opposite - "money kills imagination, creativity."  In my mind, I see money simply as energy, which is positive or negative depending on how it's used.  That's in my head.  My UN response to money as a P has me wondering about what's in my heart.

Competitiveness - Raised that this was NEGATIVE.  At my high school, the guys got to compete against other schools in sports, but the girls were limited to intramural sports - between classes, not with other schools.  Such competitiveness was unseemly for ladies. Not so now - thank heavens - but utterly entrenched back in the day.  Not that it would have made a difference to me.  My sister was the female athlete in our family.  It was fine for each of the boys to be sports stars, but one of the key edicts in the family was "Don't step on anything Mim is doing."  Mim did sports, so it was a given (at least to me) that athletics was off limits to me.  As with my studies, didn't even try.  Why bother?  I'd never come up to Mim's level.  Of all the UN Ps, this one looks like it's going to be the most fun to explore, develop & expand.  

Thanks, Molly, for helping me discover an unseen, unexperienced UN relationship with those essential 5 Ps.  Let the energy work begin - hey, it already has!