Yesterday, for the second time in a few months, my pastor
took my breath away. A few months ago,
he stunned me during after-church announcements with his conditioned praise of
Nelson Mandela on the great leader’s death, noting some people found him a
controversial. Seriously?! Yesterday, it was his scoffing reference to
someone’s belief in the importance of meditation.
Amazing. Feels to me
that he puts all of our faith’s understanding in one basket, with all focus on written
revelation & none on personal spiritual practices like meditation &
yoga. Not unexpected, since understanding
through learning is innately masculine, while understanding through perception
is innately feminine – which is why for wisdom we need to combine the two.
A minister to whom I shared some of my thoughts noted that
The Writings do talk about the importance of reflection. He was spot on – they do. But HOW are we called to reflect? WHAT is the end?
Personally, I believe reflection is the great essential of
faith, whatever your religion. Personally, I believe that was what Jesus referred
to when he told his disciples, “Except you become as one as these little ones,
you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.”
It is a question I write to every new bishop, asking – what do you
understand this passage is saying? Have
yet to receive an answer.
The way I was taught that passage was either that we needed
to be like little children, willing to be led by wise teachers, or that we
needed to regenerate so we can be reformed.
My own understanding of the passage is that we are to become as we
ideally were as children, curious with a fresh view. Developing what Buddhists refer to as
Beginner’s Mind. And two key steps to
doing that are found in yoga & meditation, both of which I believe should
be part of a General Church education, from Kindergarten through old age.
At one time, I was fond of saying my birth faith was a “wink
wink” religion. The Writings talk about
a lifelong practice of personally examining our beliefs to ensure what we think
we believe is what we really do, not outgrown but still hanging around as if it
fits. The church talks about the need
for reflection & self-examination, but it seems to be said with a wink of
the eye, with an assumption that of course we will still believe everything we
were taught at home, at school, at church.
Wink wink.
My dear old mother claimed that most people who were – like herself
– born & raised in the General Church didn’t have a clue just how radical a
faith ours is. Am not totally sure what
she meant, but I’ve always thought the emphasis on question question question
was – and is – exceptional. As in “not
the norm.”
At the gathering after my confirmation (we’re confirmed as
adults, not children), the officiating minister noted that he typically advised
young people to wait a few years before being confirmed, rather than doing it
as soon as they were eligible. He talked
about the importance of questioning their faith before embracing it as
theirs. He floored me by saying that he
felt I had done so sufficiently to leave him free to say yes & confirm me
at eighteen.
Bishop Pendleton’s words resounded in me at the time, as
they still do. I was raised in the time
of ministers who stressed, over & over, the crucial critical key importance
of not simply self-reflection but self doubt.
Do you believe such & so from yourself or because it was taught to
you by someone else?
Years ago, driving to work down Davisville Road between
Byberry & Terwood, I heard Meryl Streep (or was it Glenn Close?) being
interviewed on NPR. She was talking
about when SHE turned 18, as she was about to enter college. She made the decision to question EVERYTHING
she believed to that point, realizing that most of it was actually what other
people held dear, what others had instilled in her. It doesn’t matter which actress said it; what matters
is how clearly it rang true for me.
It just clicked, clicked so strongly I can still picture where I was on
hearing it.
We – all of us – absorb “mental models” from everything
around us, from friends & family, from teachers & society, from t.v.
& social media. What we rarely do is
make the opportunity to distance ourselves from what we’ve been taught to what
we really believe. Enter, meditation.
Yes, it stunned me that my pastor scoffed at Eben Alexander’s
apparent belief that mediation is an essential to true understanding. One reason why I continue to resist resist
resist developing my own daily meditation practice is knowing how profoundly it
will change my life for the clearer.
There is something comforting in not seeing, in not understanding which
treasured beliefs are actually my own & which are actually mentally modeled
on others’ beliefs & values, in not discovering which of my treasured
comforting soothing beliefs have become outdated & no longer reflect my
current values.
Weird to grow up in a
religion where some ministers & teachers seem to believe that faith is static,
that what we learn as children & young adults & much much older remains precisely as it
was when we first learned it. How
grateful I am for Willard Pendleton, Ormond deCharms Odhner, Cairns Henderson
and all the other ministers who emphasized the importance on being able to
identify your own beliefs, separate from everything else, even separate from
what you once held dear & no longer do.
Haven’t a clue what any of them would have thought about
meditation as a way to greater understanding.
Back when I was a young woman, anything intuitive tended to be painted
as “from the hells.” Not much of an
encouragement. But I wonder…
I thank my pastor for his scoffing comment about
meditation. At the time, I was
interested in hearing more about what he thinks about meditation. Now – nah.
But I am grateful to him for getting me thinking about the power of
meditation – and yoga – in developing a sense of… whatever. And for helping kick my butt into finally
going beyond talking about it to actually making it part of my spiritual practice. For that, he has my most profound
appreciation.
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