Entering the computer studio a few minutes ago, spied a piece of paper on my keyboard. John's lovely writing.
My heart soared higher than it's ever been.
He wrote me a note last night.
He didn't go to the computer studio & draw fantastic insects -
that boat has sailed.
He wrote a note about last night's situation. AWEsome!
The deep power of the note isn't what it says, but that John remembered that the best step in responding to a sticky situation is to do something constructive. For him me us, at this point in time, the best response is to write a note non-judgmentally recapping what happened. No editorializing or mea culpas. Just a remembering of the event.
The note itself is important, at least this one is. The verbs he uses - did, do, thinking, want, ignoring - show that he doesn't understand the actual challenge he faces. All of those verbs imply an active intention. John didn't blow off doing fantastic insect drawings to sell as a set of cards because of anything intentional - the reason behind that first drawing, the one he finished, never registered.
It is a great solace & terrible worry that when John does blows off a reasonable, agreed-to request by me, it has utterly nothing to do with me. It's totally un-personal, although it can look & feel otherwise.
My guess is it's a matter of not making basic connections. It is not intellectual, which is the challenge ~ how can anyone change what doesn't register?
Which brings us to the reason for the zillion x a zillion brownie points - he REMEMBERED, totally on his own without a single nudge in the right direction from me, that the best thing response to a situation like we experienced last night is to do SOMETHING, even the smallest thing, differently than usual. Writing a note is far from a small thing. That is HUGE.
When I came down to the kitchen this morning to feed the cats, my heart swelled on seeing that the few dishes I'd left in the sink last night were washed & the sink was glistening. He was thinking of me, in a loving way, before he came to bed.
When I spotted the note on the keyboard - well, it feels pretty darn spectacular to know our relationship has turned a crucial corner. Due to actions we both took & attitudes we both hold - different, but bending in the same direction.
A zillion x a zillion brownie points, all due to something as simple as a note? Oh, yeah!
postscript 11/15/14 - John writing the note, without so much as a wink or a nudge from me, changed everything. We are looking forward to teaming up at the Bryn Athyn Craft Sale. Which means he's deep into drawing two more fantastic insects - a lady bug & a butterfly, to go with the dragonfly - and I'm busy busy busy with getting prints run, cards made, and cookies baked!
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