Unsticking

Writing today's Wee Small Giftie post reconnected me with a blog posting I penned back in early June, on older2elder, about the Gerhard family of Glenside. The posting was about an article in the Intelligencer about family's success handing down the business through four generations.  

Had forgotten what I wrote:

Yesterday's Intelligencer featured - 1/2 of the front page of its Money section! - an article on Gerhard's Appliances, now into its fourth generation of being family-owned & run. 

The best way to describe the article is to say that after reading it, I immediately called up Bud Gerhard's sister - a friend in her own right & married to someone I've known since he was born - to say, "Wow!"  Not because of the family's business success but because they've clearly done well at the business of being a family, an even more enviable success.

Yesterday’s Intelligencer featured an article on Gerhard’s Appliances, now into its fourth generation of being family-owned & run. The best way to describe the article is to say that after reading it, I immediately called up Bud Gerhard’s sister – a friend in her own right & married to someone I’ve known since he was born – to say, “Wow!”  Not because of the family’s business success but because they’ve clearly done well at the business of being a family, an even more enviable success. - See more at: http://dvfbc.com/the-gerhards-of-glenside-a-best-practice-family/#sthash.9ThTRNpq.dpuf

Yesterday’s Intelligencer featured an article on Gerhard’s Appliances, now into its fourth generation of being family-owned & run. The best way to describe the article is to say that after reading it, I immediately called up Bud Gerhard’s sister – a friend in her own right & married to someone I’ve known since he was born – to say, “Wow!”  Not because of the family’s business success but because they’ve clearly done well at the business of being a family, an even more enviable success. - See more at: http://dvfbc.com/the-gerhards-of-glenside-a-best-practice-family/#sthash.9ThTRNpq.dpuf

And, later:
What grabbed my heart reading the article was Sally's description of what typically happens with family-owned businesses - "When the founder starts something, it's very entrepreneurial, they have lots of control.  Magically, they expect that the next generation can run it.  At the core is the capacity for them to step into real conversations, to have mutual trust, in addition to a shared dream.  If there's no shared dream, it usually doesn't work."  


That was written a few weeks before Mim was admitted to the hospital, less than a month before she left us.  Reading it feels as if someone else wrote it.  It is an arrow to my heart.

The sad truth is that my siblings & I failed at the business of being a family.  Mom once told me that when she died, my sibs would have an easier time relating to me.  At the time, I doubted she was right.  Just the opposite was, as I suspected, true - without Mom as a central point, all sense of connection with me fell by the wayside.  Things did not miraculously change - there were still no conversations to step into, no shared dreams to draw us together.   

That's what I've been trying to get my mind around, what's eluded me over the past months.  Since Mim's passing, I looked at it from this angle, then from that, without any results.  It took something written half a year ago to sum up my experience of a lifetime.  The AH HA was an arrow to my heart, but the finally expressing an elusive reality - that is unexpected balm to my soul.  

Oft times, things don't turn out as we hope, but there is solace in at least seeing what is.  Then, there's hope of unsticking & moving forward.

 

  

Yesterday’s Intelligencer featured an article on Gerhard’s Appliances, now into its fourth generation of being family-owned & run. The best way to describe the article is to say that after reading it, I immediately called up Bud Gerhard’s sister – a friend in her own right & married to someone I’ve known since he was born – to say, “Wow!”  Not because of the family’s business success but because they’ve clearly done well at the business of being a family, an even more enviable success. - See more at: http://dvfbc.com/the-gerhards-of-glenside-a-best-practice-family/#sthash.9ThTRNpq.dpuf