There I go again

Yesterday, inspired by what I read in Jen Sincero's You Are a Badass, I wrote a posting about my new awakening to what the word actually, at its root, means.  It explains why Dave & Candy accomplish so much with such apparent good grace & humor, while I have a greater struggle manifesting the life work it feels I was put here to do - they understand that deciding to do something means, first & foremost, involves knowing what NOT to do any more.  The posting focused on the little known - okay, not known to me - fact that the Latin root of "decide" means "to cut off," even "to kill off" (as in homicide, fungicide, genocide).  

So, last night I'm continuing to read Badass when i get to the short sentence, "'Decide' means 'to cut off.'"   

 

The Universe paused.

I looked at those few words & suddenly time zoomed backwards - to elementary school, high school, college, even my corporate life.  And to this past spring.

Once again, what Jen had talked about brought me to a core point before she made it.  "Once again," because that's been a trait of mine since what feels like forever.  Going to a place that someone's prepared me to reach BUT hasn't brought up yet.  A trait that did me dirt in my school life, my personal life, my professional life.  And here I was, once more getting ahead of the author in pondering a point she hadn't yet made.  

Seems to me that should be experienced as a kudo, not a problem.  But my teachers & workshop/seminar presenters seemed to take it as a slap in the face instead of a clap on the back.  

Throughout my school life - elementary through college & grad school - teachers were irked when I'd ask a question or raise a point about something they were ABOUT to discuss.  Did they feel I was stealing their thunder by bringing up something they were on the brink of discussing?  Not a single one said, "Wow!  How did you get that out of what I've said?  Because it's the very thing I'm discussing next!"  

No, all I got was a distinct chill & the hairy eyeball as they tried to distance themselves from my unsought comment or question.

My guess is that Jen would respond to my anticipating her point about the root of decide much like a workshop presenter did this past spring, at the 2015 Leading to Well-Being Conference.   For the first time EVER, when I brought up a point the presenter was ABOUT to make, she got EXCITED!  

"What's your name?  Deev, that's amazing - you brought up the very point that I'll be addressing in a few moments!  Can you share with us what it was that I said that triggered your comment?  Because you're absolutely on the right track..."

Throughout the rest of the workshop, she'd toss questions to me, even sought out my take on what she'd just said.  At the end of the workshop, other participants took a moment to say how much they'd appreciated my input.  

And there I was last night, that forever trait manifesting itself once more, providing the opportunity to really look my earlier experiences in the eye, see them for the downers they were, and realize how much, in my own teaching career, I gave positive recognition to students who made similarly unexpected leaps.

Weird, how I can see the disapproving faces of those teachers & lecturers & presenters, often looking like they'd like to throttle me on the spot.  And to remember how it felt to have someone think was WOW that her presentation had taken me to where she hadn't yet gone.  Thanks, Jen!