Perhaps the #1 difference between people who seem successful in life - whatever that looks like to them - and those who aren't can come down to something as simple as a) actually knowing their minds ~and~ b) the ability to actually decide what they want to do.
It dawned on me last night that I've been working on the first for all of my life, while giving precious little attention to the other. Up to now, I've been a pretty lousy decider.
Oh, I might feel like I'm deciding, but it's the rare time that I actually have. Mostly, I'm making known to myself what I'd like to be so, not setting an intention in the deepest part of my being to make it so.
It's one thing to decide what to do. That feels really great. Yea! I have a new purpose in life! What's not so great is actually SEEING what needs to be done to get there and - even more importantly - what we need to stop doing to achieve what we want.
It feels like my tendency has been to set terrific goals, but layered them on top of all the other old stuff that makes it well nigh impossible to accomplish what needs doing. Layers & layers & layers of old stuff that swallows up new aspirations, burying it under the seditiously familiar.
Picking out a Mary Engelbreit illustration to use in an earlier blog posting, it hit me - one of the very basic things friends who are delightfully successful do waaaaaay better than I in making decisions is recognizing what's written on the sign post for the path not taken: no longer an option. My friends decide what to do AND what's no longer an option.
Do YOU know the root of the word DECIDE? I didn't. It's "to cut off," also "to kill" (as in homocide, genocide, fungicide et al). As in, to cut off all other options, as in "no longer an option."
That might seem like a no-brainer to you, but it was a HUGE "Ah Ha!" moment for me. The fact is that I am surrounded by STUFF, physical stuff that holds me back. And something in me wants to be held back, but it is a really dumb something. Strong, determined - like the troll in Harry Potter.
Do I really want to be like the troll in Harry Potter?
I think not!
But, at this moment in time, I am. Time to start channeling Trevor Neville Longbottom, who was originally utterly hapless at successfully casting spells, but who not only finally succeeded, but matured from this as a young boy...
to this,
and ultimately this!
You can bet that didn't happen without thought, work & great material to work with!
Well, I have great material to work with, absolutely no excuses for dithering, and a fresh awareness of what it really means to decide to do something - cutting off options that work against achieving my goal. It's not just doing what will get me there, it's NOT doing what holds me back.
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