Yes, another blog posting on friendship. Been feeling extra tenderized since Mim's 07/03 passing & so deeply grateful for all the TLC & support received from my circle of loved ones, friends & pleasant acquaintances.
For over a month, I've had the honor to remember Mim sister through what feels like an endless stream of memories spanning well over fifty years. And one of the interesting things to come out of that priceless retrospective is the realization of how few of those memories include doing things with close friends of either of us. That's interesting, but not surprising, since neither of us had any. Well, I didn't.
My close friendships - at least, ones that lasted more than a year - started developing after I started teaching at the local elementary school. With two glorious exceptions, they were with my fellow teachers - they started out as what Sharon Greenthal refers to as situational friendships & in several cases grew into something deeper. Over the years, most drifted away as our experiences headed in different directions. Ones I expected to be short-lived turned out to be long-lasting & others that felt they'd go on forever declined into basically pleasant acquaintances.
Three friends from my early twenties are still among my most tried & true. Thinking of them, am aware of being truly blessed & of other close friendships that have developed after marrying John, when I was 37.
Having grown up with virtually no close friends in my early childhood & teens - a loud shout-out to Hannah, who's a fabulous exception - I doubly bless the friends who enrich my life. Beginning with my bestie - John.
Sharon writes about the importance at midlife of maintaining & nurturing the relationships that provide the "comfort & familiarity of long-term friendships" that arc "from pre-school to college to weddings & grandchildren," what she calls "one of the most life-affirming experiences a person can have. It's really something special to be part of someone's life in a continuous & profound way."
What joy to know that I have a treasured few friends with whom I get to experience the elation she describes. And I get such vicarious joy seeing the friendships featured on my Facebook feed.
The Universe has been remarkably generous in providing me with a circle of friends who might not arc back all that far, but their roots entwine with mine & we give support to each other, like a gathering of mighty redwoods.
If, as Sharon writes, "friendships are a key factor to a happy middle age & beyond," then I can look around & offer up thanks for having "a few good people to turn to."
. From Sharon's blog posting:
Keeping friendships alive and strong is not only good for our souls, but it's essential to our well-being, too.
The six-year [Yale University] study, which focused on people age 60 and older, found that men and women were 45 percent more likely to die during the study if they reported feeling lonely, isolated, or left out. They were also 59 percent more likely to have difficulty with everyday tasks such as dressing and bathing, an important measure of overall health in older people." -- CNN.com.
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