For over half her lifetime, Mim heaped condescending ridicule on anything east of the Delaware River. To her, New Jersey was a joke.
Until the state hooked & reeled her in. From her early 40s to her final hours, Mim was the quintessential Jersey Girl.
Her love affair with the Garden State began when she started making weekly visits to friends in Englishtown (or thereabouts). Meanders with them introduced her to the Freehold Grill, Due Process Farm, the Colt's Neck General Store, Delicious Orchards, the West Long Branch Shop Rite, and most of all - Spring Lake. Much to her surprise, Mim felt a sense of homecoming.
Years later, she thrived at Rutgers, where she had an off-campus apartment. It might not have been in the best part of New Brunswick, but it was all hers. (How she afforded it & the tuition... One of life's great mysteries.)
After Mim received her MSW, she devoted her energies to working with autistic children & their families. Time after time, she ended up losing or leaving a position after feeling hemmed in by entrenched bureaucracy that held her back from as effective as she felt could be. Small wonder Mim would find her niche doing one-on-one personal work as a live-in specialist, dealing with the whole dynamic - autistic child(ren), impacted siblings & parents.
Such intense work would have broken most people, but Mim had a high threshold for pain.
She also put in an amazing number of hours as a volunteer with an autism advocacy group. I doubt anyone was more stunned - shocked - than Mim when no less than the New Jersey state legislature, in full session, formally recognized her efforts on behalf of the children of the Garden State, issuing a very formal, quite amazing proclamation praising her volunteer work, duly signed & sealed, presented at a very formal, black-tie dinner that Mom & I attended with her.
Way to go, Mim!
Alas, I had a sad experience with the Jersey Girl while she was at Rutgers. Because - unlike Mim - I'm fine driving up & down NJ, but go to pieces driving across the Garden State.
As we inched up on Rutgers' Christmas Break, Mim checked our availability for a ride home for the holidays. No problem! Getting to New Brunswick via back roads is fun.
A couple days later, Mim rang up with a change of plans - she'd be in Shrewsbury. Due east.
For Mim, it would have been a piece of cake. Not me. Back then, I didn't have her driving fortitude (she drove straight through from BA to Marion, SC - awesome). I regretted it wasn't going to happen. Much as I wanted to help out, knew my weakness too well. And it would be after dark.
Mim was not happy. From her point of view, if the positions been reversed, she'd ace picking me up in Shrewsbury - or Red Bank or Rumson. But I was firm. New Brunswick - no problem. Shrewbury - no way.
On the day I was to pick her up, she called to confirm times. She was in Shrewsbury! I couldn't believe it. Even Mom knew that I'd made it clear that was a non starter.
"But I'm in Shrewsbury," Mim said. She clearly hadn't, didn't take me seriously.
As a compromise, I suggested - and thought she agreed - taking the train to Trenton, calling me before she boarded with the arrival info. John & I (it was our 1st Christmas) would be there when the train pulled in. Which was where it was left. I gave her the phone number where we'd be.
An hour went by - no call. At 90 minutes, I called Mom, worried - had she heard from Mim. No. Two hours. Around 10:30 p.m., I finally got a call - from Mom, distressed at ME.
Mim did take the train to Trenton, just never called. Instead, she caught the West Trenton Local to Bethayres, then walked from the station to Mom's house on Woodland Road. A very long walk. In a thin skirt, a light jacket, no socks or stockings. In the dark, on what would turn out to be one of the coldest nights of Winter 1989-90.
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