not so popular

My guess is that my smudging posts won't get nearly the readership Mim memories did.  I quite understand.  Learned long ago, when Mom wrote her Mindwalker1910 e-mails, that endearing sentimental humorous were sure fire topics to draw hefty hits;  introspective serious probing - not so much.

Luckily, I never write with a nod to boosting readers.  Especially not right now.  What I'll focusing on is purely for my own sake.  

What I'm writing will, I hope, serve as a bridge to the wholehearted personality born within me.  For reasons I'm only just beginning to fathom, that personality was disavowed disinherited disowned by every adult member of my family - including yours truly.  

As much as I hope that writing as smudging helps me learn about Mim, learn about me, respect each other, it's emerging that an even greater hope is finally fully connecting with that wholehearted personality born within me that was so roundly trashed & which even I blew off.

I promise that what I write won't be ugly, but my guess is it will often be hard to read.  Know that I quite understand why you might not be up to it.  Praise be, it's not about how others read it.  It's all about...  I'm not sure what.  And it certainly is.