kid in a candy store

It took 64 years to experience life as I always believed, deep in my heart, it's meant to be lived - with massive joy.  No matter what happened to me, no matter how hard the knocks life dealth, that core belief never waivered.  

Which is not to say that life was always infused with happiness, that caring connections & heartfelt relationships were invariably reciprocated, that everything in my garden was rosy.  For long stretches of time - no, no & no. BUT something in me never lost the vision of what life is meant to be, even if it wasn't in any given moment, week, year.

Every day, I get to wake up & know that the day stretching before me is going to be incredible.  My default experience is feeling like a kid in a candy store.  There is some great work to be done, work for which I am uniquely - yes, unique is the right term - suited, work that is meaningful & exhilarating.

Every day, new AH HA moments come crowding into my heart & head, each clamoring for attention.  While most of my classmates & school chums contemplate retirement or already have, I am full wallow in the busiest, most exciting days of my life.

The challenge facing me isn't finding something rewarding to do, but figuring out from a bounty of possibilities which few to pursue.  That means setting a lot aside, which is a tough task, but essential.  Too often, keeping a tight hold on too many grand goals too often translates into none done well, or any done at all.

Am learning it's a balancing act.  Which ones have the most promise for the greatest impact?  Which will take weeks, which months, which years?  Do I start with most one that's relatively simple or one that could make the greatest difference?  

 

Several (!) books ramble around my brain, each clamoring to be set down on paper, published.  They are not priorities.  They might not get to page or to print, but just having them flitting through my grey matter makes a difference to ME.  Nurturing a 5th Commandment Mindset, Gram-Fam-Boly!, Badass Grandma, Cooper of the Gardens - - in my heart & brain & spirit, they've already been written.  The world might not benefit from their contents, but I have.  They have my thanks, but they're currently on hold.

Not so with Cyber Access for the Technically Timid (CATT) or my spin on ANC's Senior Project, #1 & #2 on my must-do list.  For years, CATT has been first in my heart, but - since last week - they both share that honor.  (Long story, to be shared later!)

If not me, who?  If not now, when?  A young friend, whose own life path is an inspiration to me, quoted that to me last week.  

How many people get to experience life like a kid in a candy store?  I know how many were created to - ALL of us.  I was just lucky enough to move out of my way enough to finally get here.  Not brilliant, inspired or even lucky ~  just never let go of the deep-in-my- heart belief that we're created for a life of joy!