will it ever change?

Came home from running about on errands to find John digging a hole to lovingly deposit the earthly remains of Alpha - who died last November.  Earlier requests to dig the spot went unheeded - it's being dug now because of the threat of possible frost leading into what's expected to be a brute of a winter.  

Hooray!  The hole is finally started!!  And what did he wear digging out the hole?  An outfit appropriate for such rough, messy work?  Nope.  He wore the blue sweat pants & long-sleeved dark blue T that is casual, but nice casual.  Good-looking casual.  NOT grave-digging sloppy.

When I reacted to his choice of apparel, his immediate response was, "You like the blue turtle neck that I wear out."  Yes, for wearing out.  Had I not told him - many times - how great he looked in the combination that is now caked with dirt?  Yes, but....   Always with the but, always with me being in the wrong, which he cannot see.  If you tell someone, "It's not this outfit you think looks so great on me, it's another entirely different one," then you're in essence telling the person he or she is mistaken, that they are wrong.

But John didn't leave it there.  What I was thinking of was that he does wear the long-sleeved blue T under the blue turtleneck.  UNDER.  As in, where it is not seen.

How hard could it have been for him to look down at his clothing, to realize it is totally inappropriate for the job, that now I will have to wash both of them before he can wear them around the house, and just said, "Ooops.  Didn't even think about it."  But he can't.  It's knit deep into his psyche.  And it hits me wrong on so many levels.

Will it ever change?  Time will tell.