It seems that what connects the core challenges in my life is my virulent lack of confident in & positive experience with making connections.
I don't connect that the rug is dirty - vacuum it. That the counters are cluttered - clean them. That this or this or this room is messy - clean them. I purchase a laptop & never learn how to use it. I go to conferences & workshops without following up on the contacts I've made. Connections connections connections.
The why, the roots aren't important. Move past. Seek help with turning things right. Because I am not a total schlub at connections. I am longtime good friends with Karen (although it's been months since we've enjoyed our weekly gabs at Starbucks - turn that around). And there is John. If I can manage connections with two other humans, it's not impossible.
As for the rest - can get help with those. Because it does run deep, this antipathy for connecting what needs doing with doing it. Cuts deep, too, with the very things that most need attention being the ones I am most likely to dismiss. Some people say that's perverse human nature, but I say balderdash.
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