Yesterday, over on my older2elder blog, I wrote a posting, Power of FRIENDS. Today, spotted an item on AndThenWeSaved.com that inspired me to expand those thoughts.
The very first suggestion under 17 Things To Do Today That Will Make You Proud of Yourself in a Year is:
1. Create a tradition with your best friends: Schedule an Annual “Girl’s Trip”
My best college friends and I have made a tradition out of spending St. Patrick’s Day together every year. This national just-for-fun holiday makes for happening festivities all over the country and is equidistant between the Christmas chaos and summer soirees. Pick whatever dates make sense for your group and plan accordingly. Buying plane tickets as early as possible alleviates sticker shock, while opting for home exchanges or shared vacation rentals on websites like VRBO instead of opting for traditional hotel rooms significantly cuts travel expenses. Want another idea? Groupon even offers group getaway deals (I had no idea about these until recently.) Book now, enjoy later. No headache necessary. (Or)... look into less-expensive or relatively free options like camping trips or resort-style staycations at a friend’s house for the weekend.
Hadn't read any further than the first idea & already I was totally engaged. Although not for the reason author Lauren Mikus might have expected.
Right off the bat, giving a shout-out to Ms. Mikus for leading off her 17 items with something celebrating friendship, particularly gal pal friends. Our friends help make life more bearable, intensify our joys & temper sadness. Here comes the but... This sort of glorious get-away weekend is more likely to be enjoyed by sorority sisters & lifelong chums with healthy bank accounts than the average American adult female.
Mind you, an annual just-for-fun get-away with dear female friends who enjoy hanging out with me AND each other would be fabulous, except a) I, like many many many others, don't have that sort of special friendship with one person let alone multiples, and b) have neither the time nor the funds available to make it so.
Besides, have wracking my brains with how a weekend away with a cadre of close gal pals would make me proud of myself in a year. If the cohort of friends joined together for a weekend of doing service projects, that would make me proud, would possibly change the way I see a lot of things afterward. But how would a weekend away pampering myself & having a high old time make me feel proud twelve months out?
Am hoping Ms. Mikus forgives me for tweaking her #1:
1) Nurture here & now relationships so you have one or more close friends, women who stand by you in good times & bad, who - however far away they may be - offer a shoulder to cry on, an arm to wrap around yours in celebration, a heart open to hearing what longs to be shared. Make sure that you have the empathy & take the time to do the same. Go the extra mile. Cut them a break if you feel exasperated.
At least once a year, spend some serious time with them. If they live a distance, save up for a plane ticket or meet halfway. If that's not possible - my closest friend is a doctor with a large extended family, so she doesn't have a lot of extra time - arrange for a leisurely Skype or Google Hangout session.
Practice the art of letter writing - yes, old-fashioned writing paper & a pen, envelopes & stamps; letters pack more punch than an e-mail ever could. Go way beyond 140 characters. Be present on the page.
Find fun post cards when you're on near or far travels, dash down a note & send them on their merry way. Visuals of what's happening in your life are fun to get.
Send photos, often. Not via computer. Ones they can post of the fridge.
Recognize that there will times when your schedule or theirs transforms what was once was regular contact into the rarest occurrence. It means that life is crowding in, NOT that the friendship is over. Find new ways to say, "Just saying HI!" And be grateful when the big project is over or the once-teen graduates from college or whatever is blocking your friendship path is gone.
If you want to feel proud of yourself a year out, do things in the here & now that remind your close friends of WHY they are important to you, give them your most precious commodity - time - without any sense of return on your heartfelt investment, create a welcoming & safe environment where they can bring their best self, their worst, or all the gradations in between. Be real, be appreciative & above all be present.
Friendships of any sort help us live longer, enjoy life more, even make us more productive in our work, whatever it may be. For women, the power of GIRL FRIENDS cannot be underestimated. Due to flukish reasons, I didn't take the opportunity to develop deep friendships in my childhood (okay, Hannah - am blessed with one really good lifelong friend), teens or as a young adult. That was then, this is now. I have a wonderful circle of friends that spans the globe & is constantly growing, deepening. As much as I appreciate my guy friends, there's something special about my gal pals that enriches my life in ways I could never have imagined. We don't need to get together for a weekend of great fun or service to appreciate each other. We just need to be heart & soul present. Feel that, do that, and every year will find you proud of yourself & deeeelighted with life.
Credits:
andthenwesaved.com
autostraddle.com
inside.trinity.edu
thepersonallistproject.org
clipartbest.com
themodernnomad.com
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