originally posted on older2elder...
Been
thinking about my lonnnnnnng time love of paper chains, rooted back in
elementary school, when a homeroom teacher moved our desks into a circle
& we made yards & yards & yards of green & red chains
which miraculously transformed one morning into a huge Christmas tree, a
line of chains coming down from a high-up-there ceiling beam, secured
on the floor to the right of each desk. Still remember is wildly cool!
Have loved paper chains - and their possibilities ever since.
Now,
some people get really complicated with their chain, making them things
of dazzling beauty & ingenuity, but give me that classic simple 1"
strip pasted (oh, memories of the taste of the old-fashioned pasty
school glue!), taped or even stapled variety!
I
think of the healing chain with quotes & "You go, girl!" words of
encouragement that followed Mom in those last, awesome years, traveling
from Holy Redeemer to Elkins Park, from Inova/Alexandria to St. Mary's
& finally to her snug bedroom at the end for the 2nd floor hall.
How I wish it hadn't finally fallen to tatters after many a put up &
take down & put up again.
That
brightly colored chain, teamed with enlargements of SARK's artword, put
pizzazz into even the then-grey grey grey rooms at Elkins Park Hospital
(now vastly improved, but so awful back in the day it inspired the
snappy pictures & chain).
Just
yesterday, I connected two young women who are special to me, one
living out West, the other about 7 minutes from our house. They just
called out to be tagged up & am happy I did. Good things will flow
for the world!
There
are few things in this world that I enjoy more than a good connection,
whether I'm observing it, am part of it, or instigated. I've written
about it before & will again. Connection, relationship,
partnership, relationship of every sort & stripe, LOVE. Just
writing those words down gets me giddy.
When
your heart overflows with the beauty of a concept, difficult &
dicey life circumstances don't matter. This over-the-top connector came
from a family that shied away from connection, that seemed most at east
with the assurance of disconnection. And there I was, at its tag end,
as determined a connector as any train coupler!
That
fierce love of connection helped get me through a funky early life,
helped me bond with scores of authors & other mentors who -
oblivious of their role in keeping me steady enough, long enough to get
to John - wrote heart-healing, soul-strengthening books & articles,
recorded spot-on cassettes & cds, presented illuminating PBS
specials & YouTube presentations. Through my connection with them,
it was possible to develop & nurture a healthy connection with my
self.
That
love of connection is what drew out my inner Life Expansionist, riles
up the Elder Care Anarchist. Am personally offended seeing so much
disconnection around me. We are born to be in relationship, from first
breath to last.
There
are a slew of reasons why our current elder care culture is so gosh
darn abysmal here in the USA. Most of those reasons are not going to
change, some are on track to get considerably worse. So, how do we take
what we have, what's out there, whatever is to come, and forge those
materials into a better, stronger, more beautiful chain connecting us
all? Now, THERE is a true north purpose.
I
hear friends & pleasant acquaintances, colleagues & utter
strangers, gripe & moan about the problems they're having with this
person or that, the difficulties they face with family or at work, in
their church or schools, with buddies or adult bullies. Often, they are
stymied & stopped by such difficulties.
Here's
a lovely irony I knew forever, but was underscored & highlighted
over the past 27 years - all the wretchedness, the difficulties, the
regrettable circumstances & sticky situations contain vital lessons,
as well as opportunities for some sort of renewed relationship,
connection. Maybe not with the person you hoped, maybe not in the way
you desired, but it's there.
Life
is a link of forged chains, each strip its own color, each important in
its own way, each there to help us find our true north purpose or lead
us deeper into that.
That
might sound too Pollyannish for many, but it's the truth. My life is a
great example. Being SO different from dominant family members - polar
opposites - who seemed inescapable, it would have been easy to get
emotionally mangled, even crushed. But for whatever gloriously fluky
reason, the moments with them, the experiences we shared, the histories
we have in common, became binding strips in my chain of life.
What
delicious irony, being born into a family of connection distrusters -
got to experience & learn from a lot of dark experiences without
having to go through them myself. For that - and so much more - they
have my deepest thanks. They added texture & depth to my chain.
At
this point in time, am gobsmacked at how my life has taken on something
akin to those desks in that ancient elementary school class room. We
walked in one morning & discovered some unseen hand had changed them
from row by row, with walking space in between, to a
touching-each-other circle. Some unseen hand is constantly at work in
our lives, doing what it can to get us touching, then anchoring our life
chains to where we are, creating beauty & wonder out of simple
stuff & wondering hearts.
Credits:
whileyouwereaway.org
evolvingperspective.com
en.wikipedia.org
colour101.wordpress.com
olderandwiser.com
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