Sunday, May 10, 2015

Creating our own family

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It's impossible to remember a time when I didn't admire my sister's ability to connect to other people.  Looking at where she is, back at what I experienced in her as I grew up, it dawns on me that she was creating the family she needed, which felt - at least to me - to so not be the one she was given.  Us. Well, actually - me.  Mim clearly felt a sense of kinship to Mike & Peter, with whom she grew up, with whom she was a contemporary, Peter being six years older, Mike just two years ahead of her.  But the closeness ideally found in families, between siblings?  I wonder.  Praise be that Mim had the gift of developing those connections outside the random humans who shared her genetics & apparently little else.


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Mim has remarkable connections to people around the globe.  Her friends & family-of-the-heart stretch from our little hometown, across the USA, across the Pacific.  For years I envied her, wished I was more like her, longed for the ability to create family to fill an apparent empty space.


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Today, it dawned on me - for the very first time - that one reason I never developed that blessed gift was because I had the family I needed, the family that gave me the nurturing that would help me grow from seed to sapling to mature being.  My own.  

 
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Writing about Peter & Mim in a recent older2elder posting brought that home.  It's not new, this realization that they were the very sibs I needed to help learn the very lessons that would help me do work that matters deeply to me & promises to make a difference to others - to my friends, my community, maybe even the world.  The new thought was that the reason I didn't feel the need to reach out is that what I truly needed was right in my own backyard.


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Some people need to create their own family.  I was blessed to be born with mine.

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