Adventuring Without a Net

It’s funky, the moments in our lives that throw open doors to remarkable wonders.  They are rarely ones we plan & strategize. 

One choice that I made 25+ years ago & have kept was to live without a net.  Although that was my phrasing, looking back it feels like it meant living with the belief that everything will work out.  And, writing this, it strikes me that it was NOT a choice I made, but an acknowledgement of something that I’ve believed since forever, an essential tool that came with my instruction manual. 

It’s not that I chose to live without a net, but that I had enough grounding to realize I always have.

Okay – THAT is why writing is so vital to my understanding of what makes me tick.  It took writing this posting to realize that long-time truth. 

Which Dorothy Sayers’ book contains the exchange between Peter Wimsey & Harriet Vane about how they viewed life?  Harriet’s view was that as good as things got, she feared they'd come crashing down around her; Peter believed that at bad at things got, better was always waiting in the wings.  I am definitely Wimsy-cal.  When things were financially & professionally dark after Mom died in 2001 & my great corporate job went away, as did my family & even, it felt at times, my heart-center community & John wasn’t getting art commissions but the bills kept coming & the taxes were due - - my thought was that, if we ended up on the streets, THAT might deliver experiences that would become a run-away success, best selling book.  Always use what’s in front of you, put your shoulder to the wheel & move on – constructively. 

Use what’s in front of you, put your shoulder to the wheel & move on – constructively.  Seriously?  I  believe that?  Apparently – yes.  And didn’t realize it until right now.  It goes completely against my nurture, yet sang out so sweet & clear as I wrote it, no doubting it is my nature FINALLY come to surface.  Torn between sheez & WOW – guess both of them describe my feelings coming to this startling new peek into my inner workings.  Use what’s in front of you, put your shoulder to the wheel & move on – constructively. 

Years ago, a manager I thought of as putting in his time until hitting retirement, a couple years down the road, startled me with a radical insight to how I tick.  After what felt like prattling on about something needlessly long, I apologized for my verbosity.  He replied, “No problem.  You need to say something to see it fully, to understand all its angles.”  And he said that like it was totally normal, not irksome or grating.  It was how I processed.  Thanks, person whose name I can’t recall!

The other week, Ron Nelson made a similar observation – I am an external thinker. 

Writing this post brings both those insights home, big time.  Writing helps me process, draw out things I had NO idea were lurking inside me.

Use what’s in front of you, put your shoulder to the wheel & move on – constructively.   Bizarre – in a good way.

This is an interesting how-de-do.  Adventuring Without A Net takes on a whole different meaning than what was intended when I sat down.   The editor in me wants to go back & change the early part of what’s written to make it more in line with where it rambled; better it stays as it is, as it rolled out. 

Use what’s in front of you, put your shoulder to the wheel & move on – constructively.  This is going to get some getting used to.