On my honor

Boys Scout Pledge (tweaked):
On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. 

For all of my days, the 3rd line of the Boys Scout pledge lodged in my heart & fired my spirit.  Not because of wanting others to like me, or be grateful to me, or indebted to me.  First off, when it came to my main beneficiaries - my family - there was never any doubt in my mind that nothing I could do would ever make them like me.  Second, the fact is that I was grateful for being able to do something for anyone, because - for me - it created the appearance of a bond (never presumed it to be more than an appearance).  Third, imagining that anyone would ever feel indebted to me for anything I did to help out was simply not within my range of experiences - doing things for others was the only thing that gave me any value worth importance within my family.  

Here's the interesting thing - through highs & lows, my sense of personal worth was, much to my present-day astonishment, never endangered.  And I have no idea why that was so.  I went through times of low self-worth, times when I did stupid stuff that didn't serve any apparent purpose OTHER THAN educating informing releasing me.  The thing is, even if it was so low as to be practically non-existent, I did have a sense of self-worth.  

A great truth realized this past January was that I put myself out there for others because in that I honor celebrate extol the beauty of life.  So what if people did or didn't if others noticed or were grateful or  even cared.  It was never about their response.  It's about doing what's right, doing what can be done to help meet a need, even if it's not a want.

Right now, it's important to attend that last line - To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.   A core weaknesses has been & continues to be forgetting to include ME among the people I'm helping meet needs rather than wants.  

Physically strong, mentally awake & morally straight ~ hard to beat that for a rest-of-my-life creed.