Call me CASSIE

Ok, not really.  But today I was reminded of how I railed about being like Cassandra, who could see the future but was cursed because no one believed her.  

Me & Mom, to a T.  

Many's the time she'd say, ruefully, "You were right," but never ever ever did she pay the least attention when I tried to warn her about something before it happened.  She just plunged ahead, explaining, "YES, you're usually right, but not THIS time."  

This time was every time.

Have been victim to my own Cassandra curse - and that has gotta stop, right here & now (or however long it takes).  I see the right healthy wise thing to do, but either don't do it or do the opposite.  

Time to shake that ancient curse off my back, time to put Cassie to work seeing the right healthy wise thing to do, then - following the new Murphy's Law - making it happen.

Near the end of her book, Writing from the Heart, the fabulous Nancy Aronie Slonim points out near the end of her book that we can be our own mentor.  
That gave me pause, thinking of the years & years that I'd bitch & moan about being the go-to person for Mom, for Peter, for Mim, even in some ways for Mike & Kerry, too ~ ~  but WHO was there for ME?  My disgusted response to my own question would be, "I guess I have to be there for me, too."  

Like, duh - yeah, that IS the answer, even if I didn't want it to be.  The truth is that, for whatever reasons, none of them could be my mentor.  And, duh - the best person to tackle that position is me myself & I.  

Turns out that there are several advantages to being my own mentor.  For one thing, who knows my negative behavior triggers than yours truly?  And I can focus on what needs to be done & see a path forward.  Easy for me to do if it benefits someone else, anyone else, but TOUGH if when & how the major beneficiary is me.  

What was it Einstein said about insanity?  Another definition for insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting a different response.  Time to get sane.  It's possible now.  It wasn't a short time ago.  

The Universe has playfully thrown down the gauntlet - do I rise to the challenge & model the best self I always wanted to ride to my aid or do I stay mired in the swamps of what might have been, missed opportunities, and old-fashioned lethary?

Just call me Cassie, the gal who knows what needs to be done, who honors that knowledge & shakes out the old hobgoblins  & gremlins who drag at her hands & spirit.  

Get past it turning out the way I always saw & dreaded.  Look at it as an adventure.  The Universe is my Captain Piccard & I am the Number One ordered to switch things up.  Now, make it so.