money talks, democracy walks

The usually under-the-radar Charles Koch is being open & above board about sinking a lot of money into five potential GOP presidential contenders.  He & his brother, David, expect to sink $900 million into the 2016 elections.  

$900,000,000

from two people. 

But that's okay - the Supreme Court tells us that money is the same as free speech.  Charles & David Koch apparently have a lot to say.  

One of the aspects of the 2008 financial melt-down that's rarely addressed is how it shifted political power to the seriously wealthy.  While the fortunes of the investor class has been reinvigorated & restored, those of lesser lights are still floundering.  Our economy is said to be recovering, but the median income is still iffy, while savings & other indicators of financial stability remain devastated, even decimated.

In the last general election - 2014 - the people at the tippy top of our financial spectrum (that mega $$$ 1%) gave 42% of all political donations.  Folks who are stretching their dollar to cover housing shelter necessities don't have a lot extra to donate.  

The recovery has restored the wealthy, increased the income gap, mangled the middle class, and - together with 2010's Citizens United ruling & the derailing of union might - left us with...  a mess.

Charles Koch says that only a third of the allocated $900 mil — roughly $300 million — is earmarked for 2016 federal and state elections.  That's still staggering, by my plebian standards.

I am not saying that there aren't any millionaires & billionaires who support liberal causes - it just seems that the GOP sugar daddies are the ones who make the biggest splash.

Whatever their political beliefs, one fact remains the same - when money talks, democracy walks.  As a nation, we swung from touting campaign finance reform to burying it.  With the Koch brothers chipping in unimaginable amounts & others raising their own ante, we're heading closer & closer toward open oligarchy.

an animal speaks

 

A powerful message for every human being to read, process, remember - and live by!  My thanks to Examiner.com for publishing.  

http://www.examiner.com/article/editorial-i-am-a-dog-not-a-thing

Excerpt - Do not mistake me for a mindless object. I can feel and I can think. I can experience more than physical pain, I can feel fear and joy. I can feel love and confusion. I have emotions. I understand perhaps more than you do. I am able to comprehend the words you speak to me, but you are not always able to understand me.

 

Some humans call animals dumb.  Foolish!  Foolish!  Foolish!

Grief takes time (with thanks to Erica)

Blessings on a friend, Erica Goldblatt Hyatt, for writing....

"It's time to move on." ~ OR ~ "You seem to be over this pretty quick."

"You'll hurt less if you throw yourself back into work."  ~ OR ~ "What are you doing back at work so soon? You need more time."

"Time heals all wounds."  ~ OR ~ "You will never recover."

"It's unhealthy if your grief prevents you from enjoying life."  ~ OR ~ "It's unhealthy if you are still taking pleasure in things you used to." 

"It's abnormal if you receive signs from the afterlife."  ~ OR ~ "It's abnormal if you haven't gotten a sign."

NO. Grief is not binary!! Grief is cyclical, complex, mystical, and not defined by time and space. The loss of a relationship is something that needs continual reevaluation, assessment, and sensitivity. We pretend that our culture has moved forward in an understanding of what the bereaved need but I still see messages that indicate a lack of comprehension or assumptions regarding what "normal" bereavement is. 

Please know that it's ok to assert that you need more time. It's ok for life to not snap back into place. Its ok if it does. It's ok to ache and bleed. It's ok to seek new understandings of the afterlife. It's ok to question the meaning of life at all and feel as though you have lost your sense of safety in the world. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to be numb. It's ok for friendships to be lost or reconstructed: truly, loss provides an opportunity to see who really cares in the short and long term. And most of all, even if in a whisper, it's ok to ask for help.


Between September 16 & October 30, 2001 I lost my mother (who was far more than a parent) & my family - losses I'd expected for quite some time.  I also lost my job, workplace, co-workers - losses that totally blindsided me.  

I felt distanced from my community, my friends.  Our savings had been depleted, our bills increased, our income slashed.  It felt like everything that had given me a sense of place was stripped away - except John.

I had not expected to feel grief when Mom died, nor did I.  She was ready, so was I.  But losing everything - that devastated me.  Instead of taking me weeks to be functional again, let alone heal, it was months, then over a year.  Through it all, John was my rock.  

Once, I asked why he didn't get frustrated with me, why he didn't get upset over how long it was taking for me to get my footing back, why he didn't seem worried about our finances - why he just stood by me, week after week, month after month.  How was it possible he didn't seem at all distressed over my continued grief & grieving - it was taking so long! 

Will always & forever remember his reply - It's taking as long as it takes.  

It's taking as long as it takes.  Here was a guy who's an only child, who doesn't have a lot of friends, who is sort of a fairly solitary fellow, yet who understood the situation so much better than I even came close. 

Erica is totally spot on - grief is cyclical & complex, impossible to define by time & space.  But people seem to have a sense it should be.  I did.  My brother did, when he was amazed that Mom still grieved the loss of our brother, Ian, decades & decades after his death.  To the end of her days, Mom felt her loss.  She could never move on, get past, get over.  When it came to Ian, then later Dad, some sense of bereavement always lingered.  Not morbid, dark, destructive, but a sense of something missing, of the universe being not quite right, still there.  

Grief is not straightforward.  There is no timeline, it has no "complete by" date.  It takes as long as it takes.

disclaimer - i am not an hrc fan

That being said, I must admit to a spasm of laughter reading that hours before Hillary Rodham Clinton announced her 2016 run, Gov. Jeb Bush released a video saying: "We must to do better than the Obama-Clinton foreign policy that has damaged relationships with our allies and emboldened our enemies." 

He should know.  His brother did far worse.  Not an opinion, a pesky fact.

So, what DOES make a great leader?

What makes a great leader? Knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure. To that, Daniel Goleman, author of “Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence,” would add the ability to identify and monitor emotions — your own and others’ — and to manage relationships. Qualities associated with such “emotional intelligence” distinguish the best leaders in the corporate world, according to Mr. Goleman, a former New York Times science reporter, a psychologist and co-director of a consortium at Rutgers University to foster research on the role emotional intelligence plays in excellence. He shares his short list of the competencies.

 

Intro to a dandy NY Times article by Daniel Goleman (the go-to guy for emotional intelligence).  In a nutshell-

SELF-AWARENESS,  aka realistic self-conficence, emotional insight

SELF-MANAGEMENT, aka resilience, emotional balance, self-motivation

EMPATHY, aka good listening, cognitive & emotional empathy

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS,  compelling communication, team playing


Please forward to your state, local & national representatives! 

Pygmies on the banks of the Potomac

America, post Watergate, captured in some spot-on quotes:

Author C. L. Sulzberger - “Our age of mediocrity is marked not only by an absence of outstanding men, but also by an absence of vigorous new ideas.” 

Dean Acheson - “We are now in a period where there are mediocre men everywhere. People have opinions but no knowledge, and leaders are made in the image of the masses.”

André Malraux - “This is a sadly barren era: there are no great men in any field. . . . None in America, in Europe.”  

 

Joseph Alsop -  returning home right after Watergate, following a trip to Europe, Alsop noted that he'd always rejoiced such a return, leaving the pygmies he found in European capitals & returning to the vigorous political life of America.  But after his post-Watergate return?  In the Washington he returned to, “the pygmies now seem to reign supreme. Pygmy views on every subject are almost the only ones that are publicly heard.”

I could paraphrase the setting of the last quote because I remember when Joseph Alsop wrote it.  Imagining the horror he would feel in our current poll-driven political reality. 

Pygmies on the banks of the Potomac - in statehouses throughout our country - are one of many reasons it's more essential than ever to hone our ability to think critically rather that react emotionally.  

Hillary is set to announce her candidacy today.  Ted Cruz & Rand Paul are already in the hunt.  And I am left without a single candidate who seems worthy of supporting.  

Pygmies about, where & when greatness is needed.  Alas, an exceptional America always sits right with the country, but exceptional intelligence & genuine leadership?  They just doesn't poll well. 

                   

Cheddar Bay Biscuits

  

 

It's a fact - am still in mourning that Maddie no longer bakes up Be Well Bakery's best-in-the-universe cheddar rolls.  Oh, to have heated one with a lovely cup of their coffee au lait (steamed coconut milk).  Way past YUM! 


These days, the only way to nab one is to place a BIG order - which I understand, since they take a lot of work.  That leaves my one & only solace - backing up a batch of faux Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits.  Which I am considering for this week's Bryn Athyn College nibbling.  Minis, not full size.  Baked fresh just before delivering.  Might just top last week's slices of red bliss potatoes dusted with a few grains of sea salt, a dollop of sour cream, a snip of chives & topped with real deal bacon bits.  

Hey, we're winding down to the end of the school year.  Will be facing a long summer without trips up to Pendleton Hall.  And three of my theologs are graduating, leaving me with I know not how many in 2015-16.  Make merry while I can!

Will they come close to Maddie's iconic rolls?  No - but oh what a noble attempt at greatness!

 

 

confirmation bias & my most amazing corporate experience

It was around this time of year, back in 2001, that I had the most remarkable experience of my corporate career.  

The company I worked for - a major financial services company - had purchased a division of another mega company.  Our company name was virtually unknown outside the industry, while the other company's name was recognized around the world.  The other company had a very laid-back corporate culture, very different from ours.

Needless to say, the transition of the unit to ours turned into a major challenge.  I was transferred over, to serve as liaison & unofficial company cheerleader.  

The new employees didn't trust management.  They felt betrayed at being sold, at having lost their corporate luster, at being thrust into a more rigid culture.  And they thought their new bosses were out to bilk them of the bonus they were offered if they stayed on a certain amount of time.  

The fallout of this massive distrust & unhappiness took my bosses by surprise.  I was pretty shocked myself at learning they'd never put together a transition plan, had never anticipated there might be problems bringing the new group on board.  They'd expected it to go seamlessly, not be fraught with stress & discontent.

Things finally got so bad, I went to the head of Human Resources to share my concerns & my belief  that the best way to resolve the problem was to bring everything out in the open, to have the president - not just the vp in charge of the new division - have an open discussion with his new employees.  Go back to square one & start over.

Two days later, the vp in charge of the division stopped by my cubby & requested my presence in his office.  NOW.  Off I went, anticipating having to clear out my desk on my return.

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

The vp leaned across his desk, his hands folded in front of him, and said, "We hear that you are unhappy.  What can we do to turn that around?"

Stunned, I explained, "It's not me - it's the people I work with."

"Really," he continued, "What can we do to make you happy?"

Again, I explained that the problems I'd brought up with HR weren't mine, but my new colleagues.

For the third time, he asked, "What can we do to make you happy?"

At that point, frustrated at getting nowhere, I flippantly replied, "Give me a bonus, a raise & extra days off."

And they did.  Got a heft bonus, a 25% (!) raise & extra days off.  

That is the very definition of confirmation bias.  The vp translated everything I said through what he expected.  

Luckily, some of it did sink in.  The president did speak to his new unit, it was followed by a highly unusual open give & take discussion between him, various other top brass & the new employees, all of which helped right most, if not all, of the misunderstandings & assumptions that were poisoning the work relationship from both sides.

Sometimes confirmation bias can be disastrous;  sometimes, it can have a fabulous, unintended result.  Just ask me! 

Illusion of independent thinking

 

Was it Meryl Streep or Glenn Close who decided, as she started college, to disregard everything she been taught was true?  One of the two, but can't remember which.  Her point was that she didn't know the difference between what she'd learned from a valid source or experience & what she'd picked up along the way, what she'd processed as a small child & held onto as sacrosanct as an young adult.  So, she suspected & suspended all.  To get back into her pantheon of beliefs, a belief had to earn its way.

Most people like to think of themselves as independent thinkers, when we are anything but.  More than truly unique personal beliefs, we think from & reflect back the cultures of our place & the attitudes of our day.  

 

Yesterday was National Siblings Day.  I took the opportunity to thank mine - Peter, Mike, Mim & Ian - in a Facebook posting.  Through them, particularly through Mim, I learned about the cultural roots of our beliefs & thinking.  It was through & because of my older sister that I started stepping back to look at the environment of my thinking, first started valuing clarity over agreement, that I first understood the challenge of recognizing the influence of the many different cultures in our lives on our thought process, our belief system.  

Clarity doesn't mean being right - just a dedicated effort to keep quantifiable facts front & center, rather than emotions & assumptions.

People - particularly Americans - like to think of ourselves as independent thinkers.  Yet, our life view is determined by the cultures into which we were randomly born.  Our thinking is bound in ways we can't begin to imagine.  Genuinely independent thought is virtually impossible.  The independent thinking we take such pride in is, in reality, illusion. 

 

My life was blessed by having a considerably older sister who observed & shared her sense of others, of the cultures around us.  From an early age, I learned that our natural inclination is to take in & process information that reinforces that our personal beliefs are right & proper, while filtering out information that could cast doubt or disprove core beliefs.  That has a name - confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias is what makes it so wretchedly difficult to achieve truly independent thought.  Even when we actively seek out corroborating evidence - 
independent evidence that a present belief is accurate - we view what's found through a filter clouded with an astonishing mish mash of prejudices & incorrect beliefs, a shocking number rooted in childhood, beginning with infancy.  

I am a big fan of clarity.  That doesn't mean clear thinking guarantees working from an accurate premise.  If only that could be true!  And that being so doesn't mean we throw in the towel & give up striving for independent thought.  It just means - remember.  Remember that we're never as right as we'd like to think, others are never a wrong as we might like to assume.  We think with an entrenched confirmation bias, on beliefs & assumptions literally rooted in our cradle.  

I applaud Meryl or Glenn (I suspect it was Glenn) for her noble experience in stepping away from all previous beliefs in order to only embrace what she & she alone held to be true.  And I guarantee she did not completely succeed.  The belief she had simply became part of her confirmation bias!

Personally, all I can hope for is to remain aware that my independent thinking is anything but, that it will always be clouded by forces & influences that are impossible to detect.  Still, will do my best.  Will seek clarity, realizing that someone who believes the total opposite could be doing the very same.  

Closing with a great quote from the film, The American President.  It's not really about the challenges of independent thought, yet it is....

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? ... Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free."