Woke up a few moments ago from a dream. Well, not sure if "woke up from" is right. Something was happening in the dream, or in the state of mind that felt like a dream but might have been something else. Something, some realization, some great can't-remember-what, was about to be granted. And just as was about to happen, I thought or said words that made the whole great I'll-never-remember go pouf.
As soon as the words, whatever they were, formed in my mind or were expressed in some way, I knew with a crushing certainty that I'd cut myself off from the very thing that had been on the brink of happening. Trying to keep it from happening, trying to keep the words - which I could see hanging in the air, like some printed typeface - from being real even as I realized the enormity of what I'd done, screamed something about it not happening, about it not being too late, in spite of knowing that as soon as the words formed, it was too late, whatever it was too late for. And I literally screamed them, literally screamed it was NOT too late, that I had NOT done the inexplicably personally horrific thing that I clearly had.
What was the dream about? Haven't a clue. And now I never will. That ship has sailed, sailed off with Winken, Blinken & Nod, into the land of never happened. Almost, but never.
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