shaking the blues away

Part of constructively shaking the blues away is to look the contributing factors in the eye & stare 'em down.

We were feeling mighty pleased with ourselves, having more than enough $ squirreled away to cover this quarter's school tax bill (Neshaminy is a hefty sum).  Only to get hit with plumbing repairs & car repairs & a forgotten vet bill.  Praise be, the money was in the bank to cover it, but precious little left to our name.  

My woeful conversation skills showed how little progress I've made in that quarter.  For someone who cares so deeply for clear, safe & connecting communication, seem light years away from competency let alone mastery.  Biggest obstacles - being hideously self-conscious about the mechanics & my constant expectation of profoundly failing in a countless number of possible ways.

Feeling like I totally mangled what I'd hoped to be a budding friendship & unintentionally hurting a friend through thoughtless wording just sent me tumbling late this afternoon.  Effective communication has always been a top 5 principle in my life.  But having it in the top 5 doesn't mean it's part of my tool kit.  I am great with the glib opener, but the gift of genuinely engaging conversation - that eludes me.  And, judging by today's tears, it means the world to me to improve.

One of the ways I was able to shake the blues away was to take a long, steady look at the symptoms, then to realize they are not the problem.  So what is?  The hunt begins!