Hardly

On hearing of my predisposition to do the opposite of what calls out for focus & attention, a counseling friend said, "Ah - oppositional defiant disorder."  

Not really.  Not even close.  Not even in the same psychological universe.  There is noting defiant about my behavior.  But the comment was revealing.

First, how some folks apparently always have their radar scanning behaviors for the best, closest-to-it label.  Whether in fashion, products or how we act, I've never been one for labels.  They pigeon hole.  I want to look more deeply into the workmanship of each particular thing or research the experience of other people who bought & used it.

Knowing myself & my life experience within my family, my response makes sense.  And there's not a smidgeon of defiance to my instinct to do the opposite of the apparent best next step.  It's how I was raised.  

But not opposition - inversion.  Similar meaning, but not quite.  An important shade of difference.

Second, labels - at least to me - are tied to the past.  They're used, I think, to help get a handle on who we are in this moment in relation to how we've been in the past.  And I have no doubt that they do a lot of people a lot of good.

Just not me.

How did my life patterns get to such a funky place?  A)  I do not have a clue.  B) I do not care.  

All I am interested in is shaking them off, in developing better, more wholesome & wise focus forward traits.  

What's the opposite of inversion?  According to an online thesaurus, they include strengthen, continue, grow, hold, keep, persist, remain.  All good words, all reasonable ways to find wise focus, determine best actions, persist in following through to completion.


Oppositional defiant disorder?  Hardly.  So, what is it that makes my life such an interesting challenge?  Does it matter?  Do we ever really know the roots of our traits - good, bad or indifferent?  I am no fan of labels.  Give me constructive energy & a will to use it well.