What do I really need from TIME?

Do I really have the deeply negative relationship with TIME that yesterday's assigned poem indicates?  What I wrote is what poured out, felt both a relief & a shock to write. 

While I recognize the truth of the words.  They needed to be said, to be written & shared.  What I realized, looking at them, is that while they feel like my deepest truth, they are not. 

In the past, TIME & I have not played well together.  Let me change that - I have not played well with TIME.  Am laughing, envisioning TIME banging its head against the wall because of how often, how naturally, all my successes are discounted - by me - as flukes, freeing me to buttress my sense is that failure is my natural default.  Ineffectiveness is my default.  TIME doesn't do that - I do.

What do I really need from TIME?  It's more "what do I really need from me?"  To realize that TIME is passive, yet super charged with amazing energies to help accomplish every manner of thing.  It gives back only what it gets.  It's there to help me achieve greatly or to softly tick by as I take a snooze. 

It's illuminating to see all the times when I make good use of TIME, as it was supposed to be used.  Imagine if I came to consciously PARTNER with TIME?  To understand the things that need to be done, to have a wholesome sense of priorities.  I can be awake & aware; it takes partnering with TIME & ENERGIES to be productively active.

What do I really need from TIME?  To know how much I appreciate its patience; that I know it exists to be used productively; that half-efforts eat away at it  more than lack of any effort, that if anything has the right to feel another was a faithless suitor who promised the moon & delivered nothing, it is TIME that should feel that way about me, not the reverse.  I need to get a sense of REAL TIME & to bring into partnership with it a REAL ME.