What are you messaging?

Was reminded today about the importance of effective messaging.  Not just with each other;  way more importantly, with All That Is & with the Universe.  

That might sound like some new agey mumbo-jumbo, but at 63 am perfectly okay to be thought new age.  Especially since it WORKS.  When we cut out things that hold us back from getting what we really & truly want, when we consistently take what steps we can - however small - to reaching our goal, the Universe gets in lock step with us, providing support & encouragement.  

When we settle for less, for what we don't want, the Universe realizes we're not serious & responses in kind, with less support.  Why would it take us seriously if we don't?

My life started going in seriously different directions in Summer 2014, after attending the 2014 NCCA Leadership Exchange & Conference.  I went because something in a blurb I saw somewhere spoke to me, in spite of doubts I'd be a good fit.  Wrote to them, expressing my doubts, and received an enthusiastic, "COME!  You would add so much!"  Loved what I experienced, especially the moment my jaw practically dropped realizing the National Center for Creative Aging was inspired by Gene Cohen's revolutionary approach to aging, which inspired ME after reading his book, The Creative Age.  

That weekend was a direction-changing moment for me, because for the very first time in my life, I had a direction that felt familiar & right to the point of feeling pre-ordained.  And I pursued it.  My messaging & my actions were one & the same.  When people asked what I did, the reply was always, "You've heard of in-home care?  Well, I do out-of-home care!"  Always.  

The Universe felt what I wanted to do, could see me doing & pursuing it as I followed up the NCCA Conference with my first Omega workshop, Get to Know the Real You.  2015 saw me attending my first Leading to Well-Being Conference, where experts in the field actually sought ME out to talk (!)  & the second NCCA Conference, where I found myself making meaningful contributions to the event.  

Trite, but true - I've been walking my talk.  In two days, am headed up to my first writing workshop, at Rowe Conference Center.  Nancy Slonim Aronie's Jump Start Your Memoir goes to the heart of what speaks clearest & loudest to me in working with my older friends.  This weekend will be filled with more steps at becoming the change I hope to see in how our culture works with older loved ones, friends, pleasant acquaintances & - yes - clients.

Next up will be mid-April's Leading to Well-Being Cultivating Resilience Conference, including an optional pre-conference intensive from Dr. David L. Cooperrider, the "granddaddy" of Appreciative Inquiry, on The New 8 Stage P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E. Change Platform ~ hope to come away with a clearer idea of how AI can be effectively rolled out & implemented (my own experience was disappointing, but have heard folks from Orton Foundation RAVE about its impact).   

The end of May will find me back in northern Virginia, this time for the Mindful Life gathering.  

 

July will find me heading MUCH further south - to the Festival of Positive Education in Dallas - my first trip to Texas!  Oh, calm, my beating heart!!  Google it & you discover the primary link takes you - drum roll, please - right to our own glorious backyard, to whit the University of Pennsylvania's Authentic Happiness department!!  Even now, my breath goes shallow, my heartbeat zooms, thinking about being part of an event featuring  Martin Seligman & Angela Duckworth! - happiness rock stars!  

What makes it even better (if possible) is having found out soon enough (thanks Live Happy magazine!) to get in on the very early bird special $495 rate (almost half off the full price)!  

Will have August to get my feet back on the ground, then back down to metro-D.C. in September for the 2016 NCCA Leadership Exchange & Conference ~ Global Perspectives on Creativity & Aging.  Right back to zooming heart beat!  To think that I was THERE for the first NCCA conference that was open to all comers.  We went from a fairly small space to a much larger one last year to who knows what this September.

That that doesn't take into account the Omega & Rowe workshops (waiting on their 2016-17 schedules) that will beckon!

This is my VERY long way of saying that what we message makes a difference.  Do I believe that these awesome events would not be happening if I wasn't consistently walking the talk that my true north purpose is doing all I can to make as many lives - particularly older friends' - as expansive as they can be at any given moment, helping them connect to their most fabulous self whatever their particular challenges?  Well, no.  But...   

On the other hand, I believe that hearing about them before the fact, getting info early enough to take advantage of mega savings (means mucho to our still-getting stabilized finances), having enough funds to get to at least this weekend's workshop & take the plunge of faith by booking the very early bird rate for July's Dallas event - yes, I believe information about these incredible opportunities keeps flowing into my life at optimum times because the Universe knows I'm steadfast in my goal & rock-solid in my determination to become the person who can make a difference, not just for the handful of people it's my privilege & pleasure to work with directly, but to countless others & their families & loved ones.

Does the Universe know what you really want, are working to bring into your life?  When we settle for less, it sends the devastating message that's what we're okay with receiving.  What are YOU messaging? 

"The journey is the treasure." ~ Lloyd Alexander

 

"The journey is the treasure." ~  Lloyd Alexander

How easy it is to forget that reality; what a difference that lapse makes in our lives.
 
When we keep our eye on the goal instead of the journey, our path is littered with "not there yets" & "how much longers";  when we focus on the destination, we can be disappointed once we get there - it's not this enough or that, doesn't make us feel different enough or whatever it was we expected to feel once we arrived.  

 

But when we invest in the journey, in seeing all that is around us as we move forward, we've already become richer wiser MORE just by taking the steps to get there, can appreciate reaching the destination because we were awake & aware throughout the time spent getting to arrival.

We need to reach goals.  The journey is validated by reaching its endpoint - then deciding on another & plotting the route to that new destination.

"The journey is in the treasure."  Bon voyage!

Throwing in the holiday towel - without prejudice

Some people are just not cut out for doing the Christmas present thing.  John is one of them.  It's not his thing, has never been his thing, and he - sadly - has never taken me seriously when I've said, "Do me a drawing or a small painting.  Just give me illustrations of a could of our cats."  He wants to do the right thing, but it feels to me that the right thing is taking what we already do to a higher level.  Just skip the present thing.  Because we have the celebration, the spiritual side, the loving & gratitude for All That Is totally nailed.   

 

John is as incapable of understanding the whole present thing as a color-blind man is to appreciating the Louvre or a tone deaf woman is to appreciating Willie Nelson.  Doesn't matter how much he wants to be, just isn't there.  But so so so much else is, so who cares?!!

Less sense, more sensibility

Certainly, less common sense & much more tuning into our finer feelings, sensibilities.  Sometimes, even welcoming an opportunity to fly blind, believing the destination will be worthy of the risk.

That's how I felt several days ago, planning prepping preparing for the Cairnwood Village brunch.  Financially, it made absolutely no sense.  We knew that the odds were pretty high that Gibbs, our ancient but stout-hearted & true Concorde, would need a new $$$ catalytic converter system to pass the emissions test, on top of $$$ repairs the loyal auto needed to pass the state inspection.  Still, the moola we spent on groceries & eating irons et al for the 01/02/16 felt like a wise investment.

 

Oh, the blessings of doing that delightful event continue to resound reverberate rejoice their way through our lives! 

It wasn't an idea that suddenly came to me.  It was more,  It was like the brunch already existed somewhere, waiting to be simply be eased into reality.  

And "ease" seemed to hallmark almost the entire event, from figuring out the recipes - only one of which, Ulla's Mac & Cheese - I'd made before, to the shopping, to the prep, the baking, the presentation, the serving...  well, everything except the clean-up, which was a mega chore for a very weary couple.  But John stepped up & did a terrific job of vacuuming the entire dining room & sweeping every kitchen floor nook & cranny.

Lori Odhner's question/comment - "You really love doing this, don't you." - triggered a major epiphany about my forever feelings about appreciating others, that it's what gives me joy, rather than putting on special moments.  The special people are what mattered, who are EVERYTHING.  When it comes to older role models & mentors, my life has been touched with spectacular & I love shouting that from figurative roof tops.

Another unexpected bliss point happened today.  Watching Julie & Julia as I did used the kitchen island as a staging area for sorting out Christmas treasures waiting to be packed away for this December, realized that I got to live the end of the movie.

Julie is cooking a boned duck en croute.  Taking it out of the oven, she marveled, "It looks just like it's supposed to!"  I paused, reran the clip & marveled.  That was exactly what I said on Saturday, pulling the breakfast casseroles & the egg dish that was my own whipped up recipe, in exactly the same tone.  

And then, to honor her husband, she steals a quote from Paul Child - "'You are the butter to my bread,and the breath to my life."  Pretty much what I've been saying about John for the past few days - make that years.

Putting on Saturday's brunch for Cairnwood Village residents might seem the opposite of common sense, spending money when we have mega expenses staring us in the eye, and people with good sense would be completely justified in painting us as foolish people.  But every single moment of it, from the event presenting itself to me in the wee small hours of Christmas morning to watching "Julie Powers" jaunty "Bon appetit!" this afternoon, sang songs of praise & gratitude to my run amok sensibilities!!

graphic credits:
1) NorthLight
2) Running Deer Magic Heart of Belief
3, 4) Julie & Julia
5) Saxon & Parole

Letting go

 

"The starting point is realizing that letting go is not a dramatic moment we build to some time in the future. It is happening now in the present moment - it is not singular but ongoing." - Judy Lief

Letting go is far from extraordinary, yet never ordinary.  We're all created to let go over & over & over.  I think about friends who seem committed, heart & soul, to stay attached to their images of themselves, then about friends who've handed over the reins & continually evolve.  The first seem dogged with a need to feel in control; the later realize that control is, at best, an illusion - a not a very healthy one, at that.

I have to let go of this moment to let the next happen.  I have to let go of the expression of human spirit I was to be the one I am now.  I have to let go, to trust & love & give thanks for everything I can ken & all I can't.

 

Looking at this picture, an example of a starting point, am reminded that the actual starting point of this seedling was when a seed was released from a dead plant, when it burrowed into the dark soil & was nurtured with water & sunlight.  All starting points.  

Can we ever stop & say - "This is the starting point." 

No, we can't.  

It is in this moment & always.

Ain't life grand?!

inspired by dailyom, day 2

Spooky wonderful luminous life

Life shuttles us off on intriguing twists & turns.  During a web surf yesterday morning for the Bisquick Blueberry Muffin recipe, stumbled across a link to Maria Nemeth's book, The Energy of Money, which sent me thinking about her Mastering Life's Energies - Simple Steps to a Luminous Life at Work & at Play.  

The first book had an impact on my life, the second changed it.

I checked out my book cases.  The Energy of Money was in clear sight, but Mastering...?  Not a sign of it.  Remembering the impact it had on my life, but no specific memories of why, went online & ordered it.  Due Wednesday.

This morning, ready to lap up breakfast after sleeping an unheard of 12 hours  (worn out after prepping/making/baking/setting out/cleaning up from yesteday's brunch for some rockin' older friends - look for a separate posting), curled up on the living room couch with a well-protected bowl (from kitties) of left-overs.  

Snuggled down, with Skye waiting hopefully on my left & Renny all expectation on my right, my eyes followed a beam of light across the floor to the far wall bookcases, landing on - you guessed it - Mastering...  

The Universe - such a comedian!  

Written in 2007, it came into my hands in January 2008 - possibly through One Spirit Book Club.  Looking at it, still hadn't a clue what about it had been so special. The title page showed 8 page numbers jotted down, so I turned to the first - page 31.  

My heart breath time - all seemed stilled as I read.  

Dr. Nemeth talked about a talking fish who can't describe water because it's never been in anything else, but that if once it was so filled with joy it leaped out of the water, into the air - if only for a brief second - THEN it could experience water.  "There, for one instant, he observes what he has been swimming in.  He knows what water is - and isn't." 

 

That's what Dr. Nemeth wrote.  Here are comments, dated 11/10, in my writing, at the bottom of the page & in the margin:

• Bottom ~ But what if, observing the water, his environment, as what it actually, is fills him with fear?  What if he felt the one (air) wasn't different from the other (water) & not to be trusted?
• Margin ~ (What if the fish thought) "Don't let me see the water as separate (from the air).  That terrifies!"

Goose bump time.  I was describing my sense of my sister.  And it matched Gray's description of Mim to everyone gathered at her memorial tribute - someone "terrified by everything."  

How is it that I could experience Mim the same way as Gray, but no one else in the family could?  Or maybe they did, but couldn't say it.  

In five days, I will be heading up to northwestern Massachusetts for my first writing workshop.  I will be heading up with a different mindset than was possible before 11/26/15, when - for the first time in my entire life - I heard someone who loved my sister speak a difficult truth about her.  

Over the past 18 months, I've experienced time folding back on itself.  That's how it feels, having heard Gray's loving, honest observation about her remarkable & troubled sister-of-the-heart, then reading my 2008 comments saying much the same thing.  Downright spooky wonderful luminous*.

 

*per Dr. Nemeth  -  Our experience is luminous not when we are thinking about living our lives, but when we are fully engaged physically in reality. The experiences that reflect luminosity are those based on actions taken with clarity, focus, ease, and grace.   


photo credit
fish out of water - -   http://saleereese.com/2013/07/18/flying-sunglasses/

Texas line dancing literary mentors

previously posted on  older2elder BOOKSHELF...

"Texas line dancing literary mentors" - that's not the title of an NYT best seller; it's my experience over the past year, reading book after book that fully engaged my attention, utterly expanded my life & ultimately drew me into some crazy wonderful communal dance.

This posting came to me in a vision of Stephanie Dowrick & Karen Speerstra & Herbert Anderson & Jen Sincero linked arm in arm, doing a high-kicking dance routine, a la the Rockettes.  


When I sat down this morning to write this post, THIS was in my head...

...but apparently THIS was in my heart!

Not the precision of the Rockettes - the boisterous bounce of Texas line dancing!

Something they both share - the need for more than one dancer.  While a single ballet dancer can totally wow, it takes at least two Rockettes to take us from "Impressive" to "My gosh, that is awesome!"  Ditto with line dancing - can't be just one, gotta have at least two.

The biggest difference between the two - the combination of time, energy, even setting each requires.  

It takes years of training & competing to become a Rockette, to successfully execute precision drills up on a stage, high up & set apart from the audience.  The opposite of Texas line dancing, which can be picked up in minutes, anyone can join in, and you dance surrounded by admirers.  

My literary mentors of past years are line dancing in my head heart spirit, dancing

with joy, exuberance & kick ass individual style - hair tossed back, face aglow, each well-heeled boot high steppin' with happiness. Precision?  Only in the loosest sense that everyone's doing the same step, but in his or hers or our own way.  It's not about what the audience or admirers experience, but what each dancer feels.  Unlike Texas 2-stepping, the dancers don't touch, but each contributes to the glorious experience of the whole.  

Sounds a lot like life.  We are ultimately on our own, our experience contribution participation contributing to something more, much more.

This time next week, I'll either be getting ready to head home from an awesome weekend workshop at Rowe Conference Center.  Up to this morning, had thought about it as a group of blessed & blissed folk taking a writing workshop (my 1st!) from the beyond-the-beyond Nancy Slonim Aronie.  Now, will be thinking of us all - Nancy, yours truly, my workshop compadres & all my omnipresent literary mentors - joining together in a line dance jam!   
 

photo credits:
1) http://www.precisephotographybydan.com (for AAA Texas)
2) Rockette Alumnae Gala 
3) http://www.ballroomdancesportconnection.com
4) http://www.eventbrite.com/e/texas-line-dance-jamboree-2015
5) Big Texas Saloon, Niagara Fall, ONT