Cast parties & paradigms

 

For three years, I've intentionally volunteered to do a lot of Bryn Athyn Community Theater's cast parties.  I thought it was to get enough experience to write a report that would include how-to suggestions & recipes & tips on when to do what.  

Turns out that I was right, the three years' experience will enable me to write a Cast Party 1.0 report.  Just not the report I ever expected.

Getting ready for the current cast party - for The  Secret Garden - has been my best experience EVER putting on any party.  And it completely changed how i view cast parties.

For the first half of our marriage, throwing a couple big parties a year was our norm, a build on the events I regularly held in my single days.  But we haven't entertained since getting cats in the mid-2000s ~ too many friends are allergic.  So putting on cast parties - and doing food for the after-church gathering on Sundays - became my entertaining outlet.  

Take tomorrow night - cooked up a homemade tomato sauce for the pasta bake, threw together my 2nd ever chili, hard boiled & shelled eggs for deviling, made a classic potato salad, as well as a sesame noodle & pasta salad with peppers.  

Wait, not done - made a buffalo'd cream cheese with blue cheese to pipe on cucumber slices then sprinkling with diced celery, jazzed up a Dean's French Onion dip with caramelized onions, making a 7-layer dip.  And a loaf of Jennifer's "Grandma Davis" whole wheat bread!

A lot of work, on a hot day & with another hot one on its way tomorrow.  How many people would be so lunatic?  

Starting on Sunday, I'll join the ranks of those who'd never tackle such a mega cooking task.  Because all through this experience, which I've loved every moment of, I've been asking myself, "How could this make the same impact, get the same rave reviews, without ALL  THE  WORK?"  And I've come up with some pretty darn good ideas, if I say so myself.

 

First off, we should go back to each of the board members contributing something to the party.  Not only will this make like a lot saner for the person organizing the party, it will give him or her the sense of being part of a team rather than out there alone.  If one of them wants to bring the wine or other beverages instead of a nibbling, fine.  Jennifer offering to contribute a loaf of homemade bread meant the world to me on several levels.

Some people have a strong network of friends ready willing & able to help out.  I am not so blessed & have a hard time successfully delegating.  What I will do if I head up a future cast party is to wrangle someone on the board or the crew who's good at wrangling help & let them round up help.  Having extra hands to help with all aspects of the party would be wonderful & helps the organizer have a good time. too.

If people want to go wild & invest a lot of time organizing a party that features homemade goodies, let 'em go, baby, go!  But it can be super easy putting together a great repast without spending a lot of time -and- without breaking the bank.  
 
Pasta dishes are super easy to make.  A large pan of mac & cheese and one of tomato & pasta should be plenty.  

Purchased chili simmering in a crock pot, with bowls of crushed Fritos - onions - shredded cheese - chopped onions for topping, is a sure fire winner.  

The hoagie dip at a local deli is a huge winner & tastes just like a full-size Italian hoagie!  

Trader Joe's in Jenkintown is a godsend, with their own version of 7-layer dip, great guacamole, cheeses, crackers & other delicious nibbles all pre-made.

 

For some reason, people seem to get a kick out of bringing a salad.  Encourage them to do just that!  Or check out the large vats of pasta & potato salads at Costco.  

Costco is a treasure house of nibblings & noshes.  Their frozen pinwheels are always among the first things to vanish.  Although I steer clear of ordering cold cuts - never know how much to get & their are $$ - Costco is a good place to pick some up.  Along with HUGE bags of chips.  

Giant regularly offers excellent deals on hummus & crackers, so the cast party organizer should be on the lookout starting about a month before the party date.  Ditto mini cream puffs & eclairs.  

Buffalo'd cream cheese is easy to make, but nothing is simpler than spreading pepper jelly over a brick of cream cheese & serving with plain crackers.

Cut up veggies & purchased dips - what could be easier?  I love the carrot chips that Giant carries.  

The biggest expense - well, other than good cold cuts (never bother with mediocre cold cuts - you get what you don't pay for) - is fruit.  I cut up a watermelon into small triangles.  Classic summer dessert!  Pairing with cupcakes (what else did you expect from The Cupcake Lady) & mini eclairs.

I've found that one case of beer seems to be plenty for cast parties, with a wide variety of large bottled soda & juices, as well as a pitcher of good ol' h2o.  People often don't drink an entire can, so I just don't bother with them.

Cheese & crackers, grapes - oh, almost forgot! Friends might say they cheat when they buy pre-cooked eggs for deviling, but I consider that brilliant use of time & resources.  (Yes, I've done it!)

 

A final detail - pick up a nice little thank you for whoever offered their house for the party.  

The past weeks have been a wild, unexpected ride.  What an interesting shift of paradigm, from seeing what's the most interesting dish I can make to figuring out what's the simplest, most easy to duplicate way to throw a large scale party.  That's the cornerstone of successful marketing - find something that works, find the easiest way to do it, find a way to make it easy to duplicate.  Took me this long to put the two together!

 

It's been great fun putting together tomorrow night's party.  Am looking forward to seeing the musical in the afternoon, then entertaining an exhausted, hungry crew & cast.  Looking forward to writing my full report for the board.  It won't be what I expected, but then none of this current experience has been.  Who knew I could have FUN - or that it would be the grand finale of a great run of parties?  

 

One last thing - any suggestions on ways to increase the fun while decreasing expended time & energy are joyfully welcome? 

SO not who I thought

Talking about myself.  Not at all the traits that I manifested for 60+ years.  Yorvar Synnestvedt described what he saw decades & decades ago as an "inspired winger."  In point of fact, I am far far far less effective as a winger & incredibly MORE as a very organized humanoid.  

I like to know what needs to be done & when I'm going to do it.  Not when it might get done, when it will.  

Rather adventuresome, figuring out the organization SKILLS that I need to learn (from the ground up) to match the traits.

Also discovered my deep belief in collaboration.  Which is clear to anyone who knows the delight I take in volunteering to help this cause or that use. Collaboration is what makes the world go 'round (love is what makes the trip worthwhile).  Here, too, I am building my skills (again, from the ground up) at encouraging enticing engaging people enough that they come on board with whatever I'm working on.

 

As Pooh put it so very well - it isn't much fun for one, but two...

Organization & collaboration, two keys to what make me effectively tick.  Who da thunk it?!

Making less more!

This is a build off this morning's post.  Amazing how FAST things can change - instead of taking time off from the apres-church spreads, come September (when they start back up) will be picking up the slack when no one is signed up.  It's eazy peazy for me & as long as I'm getting reimbursed (a new thing for me!) it is a no brainer.  Fresh fruit assortment, purchased crackers & two types of cheeses, homemade or really good cookies.  Awed at how just a few hours of letting my original post steep into my head & heart changed my perspective entirely!

Realized that my response to having people say "Too much!" has been to step back, away.  That doesn't serve anyone.  Instead, will do what works.  Nora does so much, it will be fun to let her know that all she needs do is let me know on Friday if no one is signed up & a simple yet satisfying spread will show up for post-adult service nibblings.  

(Am strongly suspecting it was Guardian Angel Geneva who set me right - my lower lip definitely felt a tug!)

Everyone in her own way

It was quite the shock the other week to realize how often, as an adult, people would ask me to tamp down something I was doing because "it made other people look bad" in comparison, that they couldn't/didn't want to do it to the same degree.  Never understood that back then, still don't.  

Back then, I felt like I'd done something wrong, that less was the better road to take but my problem was not knowing what less looked like.  Now, I do.  

Less, when it comes to the gatherings after Sunday service, looks & tastes like what we had yesterday - a lovely variety of fresh cut fruit, a nice selection of cheese & crackers, yummy homemade chocolate chip cookies.  The perfect spread for that occasion.  On an regular Sunday, less is just right.  That's why I always signed up for Sundays right before a special holiday.  That way, I felt free to go over the top.  Sundays like June 21 - Father's Day.

This year marked the 43rd anniversary of Dad's passing.  John's dad died equally young - both were only 63.  It will feel GREAT putting out a spread of what I envision as "guy food" - deviled eggs, cream cheese with a layer of pepper jelly, cupcakes, 7-layer dip, cheese & crackers, gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, hoagie dip in corn chip cups.  After that, am taking at least a year off.  It seems that some people take my exuberance as setting too high a bar.  Never thought of it as a competition.  

I'd trade in doing splendiferous spreads for what I don't have - people to fuss over, to cook for, to plan parties around.  Over the past few years, my community has stood in for my family, family distanced from me in more than just miles.  Impossible to describe how it felt to have a party to plan every Christmas, to know that I'd be making heart-shaped goodies in honor of Valentine's Day, that Easter didn't have to be a lonely Sunday, that I could fold in honoring Mom's 05/14 birthday with whatever I did for Mother's Day.

Yes, it felt like an arrow to my heart when Erik implored more people to sign up for the after-church goodies, pointing out, "Come on - this is NOT a competition."  Which, clearly, some people think it is.

For years & years, back in the days first I, then John & I put on big fun parties, people didn't hesitate telling me that they'd NEVER think of inviting me to their parties, because "they aren't on par with yours."  Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!  For years & years, I didn't have a circle of close friends like I've developed after marrying John.  Entertaining was my one sure way to be with people, since I wasn't on their invitation radar.  I didn't do it to snag return invitations - most entertained small scale, cozy dinners with family & truly close friends.  I put on big smasheroo parties because I love celebrations - the bigger, the better.

Right now, I am gearing up to put on another cast party for Bryn Athyn Community Theater.  Over the past three seasons, I've put on spreads & beverages for big casts & small, have put them on in the very unsocial Mitchell Performing Arts Center (never again!) & in a variety of welcoming homes.  The reason for doing so many was to put together suggestions for people doing future parties to use if they need a guide.  

Most people don't appreciate all that I get from putting on the after-church spread or a cast party.  Over the past few years, I've learned organizational skills that slipped past me in earlier years.  

• I've learned how to improvise when it turned out the congregation was double what I'd expected or discovered that a play ended 45 minutes before I expected.  
• That cast members who have put on a matinee & an evening performance are torn between hunger & exhaustion.  
• That Charter Day weekend after-church crowds linger for a long time but DON'T eat a lot of food (too busy catching up with out of town family & friends.)
  To ask questions, to proactively seek information I don't know I need.  
• How to lay out my kitchen to maximize my prep, when it's close enough to the event to start buying food on sale,  how to ask for help rather than tackling it all myself.  
• Discovered the value of checking out the venue days before the event, to have an understanding with the hosts about what's needed in terms of fridge space, how to work the oven, where the trash is thrown.  
• To let go of having to put out the food after church & let Nora handle it, so I can sit with John. 
• And more, much more.

In so many ways, doing after-church spreads & B-Act cast parties helped me become more responsible, brought out traits & taught skills that eluded me in my first half century.  One advantage of doing the cast parties has been clearing out my fridge at least twice a year! 

For everything learned & experienced, I am most grateful.  

But - as of 06/13 & 06/21 - I'm taking a break.  

With the cast party, the proof of my success won't be found in any present or past event, but in whether or not I put together a Cast Party 1.0 Guide for others to use, adapt, add to.  And I've learned the value of an extra pair of hands, so will be quick to help the party head, if she or he needs any. 

Everyone's taking a break from the after-church food spreads - by the end of June, they're on summer hiatus.  Next year, look forward to having a lovely piece of fruit or a carrot chip with hummus, maybe even indulge in a homemade cookie (this vegetarian is doing her best to be dairy-free, too).

There is no regret, not even over having people once again experience what I do as socially intimidating.  Hey, I'm a gal who always has & always will love celebrations, always has & always will go out of my way to nurture anything that moves.  It's time for me to redirect those energies (and money - those church spreads sometimes cost a pretty penny) in new directions.

There is a wonderful illustration about what needs to be done before we can move on with something new - we need to empty out the old tea before we can pour a fresh, invigorating cup.  The old tea didn't do anything wrong - it's just time for it to go & something new to arrive.  

My heartfelt thanks to everyone associated with the after-church spreads, especially Nora Alden Cooper, who made is so easy.  You are a gem, dear friend.  And to all the hosts & all the helping hands  - especially Jennifer & Shada - who made throwing B-Act cast parties such a grand time.  

And thank you to Erik for his comments  - on two different Sundays - about people feeling pressured outside of their comfort zone, who viewed the spread as a competition rather than an occasion for joy & fellowship.  Those words were the Universe speaking, saying, "Time to move on."  

So, I am.  With a happy heart, memories of great & grand times, looking forward to the next celebration.  And a clean fridge!

shocked stunned amazed

Far more than the surprise at discovering the how many pieces of clothing I have that spark joy, is finding the caring heart to say farewell to beloved pieces, ones that with holes or tears, that gave their all for me & are heading to The Great Closet.  

Thanked them, folded them with the tender loving care they deserve, and bid my good byes.  They've earned their rest.  

audience - fundamental differences

Both Mim & I have always loved working with young children & teens.  But Mim works one-on-one or in a very small group, while I thrive on large groups - classes, rather than individual tutoring - and the widest range of ages.  We do some similar things, but in not in similar ways.  Similar areas, different dynamics.

While my current work is very one-on-one, my deepest calling is to take what I do on a personal level & format it so anyone can adapt & do it.  As much as I thrive on helping older friends keep clear the path to being their full self, always in the back of my mind is the fact that Mom couldn't have afforded me.  Which is my butt kick to translate my one-on-one work into something accessible to anyone.  An unknown audience - the ultimate in "large group" connection!

To veer a bit off topic - just hit me that what made me a success at US Healthcare & Prudential & Bisys was working in a VERY large group setting, but making the people I worked with - the folks on the phone or in the letter or out in regional offices - feeling like they were seen, like I was working with THEM, one on one.  Maybe not so off topic, after all.  Maybe a nice little way to tie what I do with an older sis I grew up adoring.