FOOD - the missing ingredient

Throughout my teens and twenties, it felt like all the adults in our small town gathered together at Friday Supper.  The high school & college dining hall closed, with all dorm students attending – so, of course, it was a magnet for all the guy & gal townies, too.  If someone didn’t drive, others willingly offered rides to & from.  The meal could fit into the most stringent budget & the food was mighty tasty, made in the community kitchen each week by a different team of women, from grannies to gals right out of college, and served by high school seniors. 

In the elementary school, mothers often baked cupcakes for the whole class when a son or daughter celebrated a birthday.  In fact, cupcakes seemed a staple of elementary school celebrations.

Less so in high school, although I baked goodies for Glenn Hall – home at that time to both the high school & college women dorm students – from my freshman year.  Throughout my high school years, many a dorm friend hiked to the Lockhart home - and many others - because Glenn Hall lacked kitchen facilities.

When I was in college – also in my hometown – the women’s alumni group kept students well-supplied in baked goods.  For years, Mom filled that role.  Every holiday, she would bake up a storm for the college.  Other women in the town baked a cake for each college dorm student’s birthday. 

Until recently, most weddings had “open” invitations, with all members of the congregation invited to the ceremony & a reception with cake & wine at the church, a more intimate gathering of family & close friends gathering after that at a home or the Civic & Social Club.  Then, there was the rare “big” wedding, with a reception at the Assembly Hall, later Heilman Hall, or – best of all – at Glencairn, where you could count on champagne & great dance music. 

These days, things are very different.  

Increasingly, food is a missing ingredient in connecting our community.

For a host of reasons, Friday Suppers are just a treasured memory.  Nothing draws together different ages of women to bake for a throng, nothing connects all ages every week over mashed potatoes & meat loaf.  Just an open Friday on the community calendar. 

Last year, the elementary school passed a regulation outlawing homemade goodies.  Too many students have allergies or other food issues.  

Praise be, although Glenn Hall has sported a kitchen for over 40 years, the high school dorms remain a beacon of food connection!  Once a week Dormie Warmie gatherings draw adults laden for food to the two dorms, where townie Moms & even Dads feed  & socialize with the dorm kids.  Bravo!

Decades ago, the Dean of College Students requested the alumni association stop keeping them stocked with goodies – she (I doubt them) perceived it as  infantilizing them rather than treating them as adults. 

With Cairnwood & other fashionable venues available as reception venues, few  bridal couples issue “open” invitations to the ceremony, let alone reception. 

Got to thinking about all this because I’d like to create closer ties to my neighbors.  Due to our cats, we can’t have an annual block party at our house or have individual families over for the occasional dinner – too many people have allergies.  Hesitant about whipping up the occasional batch of cookies or brownies, since so many people are gluten- & dairy-intolerant or are watching their carbs or fat or whatever.

When I was young, food was a tie that helped connect  strangers & enrich friendships.  Today, what  stands in its stead?