an unexpected angel

 

As astonished as I am at how often dark forces rise up when my mind embraces important goals – the more important the goal, the more powerful the assault – am beyond astonished at how forces of light present themselves as protectors.  Often in unexpected guises, in unforeseeable manners.

Consider my current work as an elder care anarchist, a work I want to expand through  a much-talked-about, still-to-material crowd fund request seeking underwriting to attend as many 2015 conferences & workshops & classes as possible.  What happens before I get the request online?  WHAM!  Hit with two teeth that need surgical extraction – and not the two I expected.  Mere coincidence?  Experience tells me to think otherwise.  Divert offered funds from crucial work to attending to an all-too-temporary body.  I have no idea how all this will play out, but my clear life purpose will not be held hostage to a lump of quarks.  

Even more of a challenge is my inner struggle to get past the limiting behaviors that have been part  & parcel of my life.  It is easy to say they do not serve me, that I need to focus, to determine what I really want to do & pursue and what I really don’t want in my life & don’t do what welcomes it in.  But the doing, even doing something that feels my suppressed natural self?  Going against a lifetime of self-defeating behaviors demands  consistently taking best next steps.  Not a few, all of them.  It requires being completion focused.  

Was looking at my dental health & my own lack of focused oomph, when I was gifted with a guardian angel.  Literally.  I never met Cheryl Giobetti Hoffman, who died in August 2008.  She was just 54 years old.     

We connected through her daughter-in-law, the author, Chandra Kistner Hoffman.  Was it simply serendipity that lead me to a 2010 blog posting Chandra wrote about her mother-in-law?  I think not.   . 

 

Get chills that she issues a collection of flute & organ pieces titled Miracles - it so feels like her coming into my life at just this point in time is miraculous!

Blessing on all the forces that lead me to open that link.  It introduced me to a remarkable spirit who said what I deeply needed to hear someone say – GET OVER YOURSELF.  And rephrased something that’s been simply loitering on the edges of my intentions – The breeze at dawn has secrets to reveal.  Don’t go back to sleep.  That’s Rumi, but Chandra’s phrasing of Cheryl’s sage advice is as uplifting inspiring butt-kicking ~  you have to rise with the dawn chorus.

I was feeling low this afternoon, sapped.  My penicillin is running low, I barely have the money to cover x-rays, let alone the first of several costly dental procedures.   Monies diverted to something that is going to be stop-gap in the long run – we all go, some day – is money not used for what can be of long long lasting  use.  Then,  on a whim, I hit a highlighted name.  And everything shifted.  More to the point, a whole bunch of dangling loops suddenly tied themselves into a spectacular bow.  

It is beyond astonishing, how things mentioned in Chandra's post about the remarkable of Cheryl Gobbetti Hoffman speak to my deepest self.  From Get over yourself - so my core problem - to advising the best way to get things done is to get up early early (have known for  years that my best time for getting up is 5:30 a.m.), my day is ending on an unimaginable high note.  

The forces of darkness are always looking ways to distract & divert, but praise be for the more powerful power of light.