MIM 06/28/15

Aaarrrrgggghhhhhh!  I so totally messed everything up when I blew it & left Gunny (our beloved if ancient Concorde) running & probably killed its engine, which was billowing smoke & making very ominous noises by the time I finally turned it off.  I messed up everything.

Right now, I should be over in Toms River, at the hospital with Mim rather than just hanging up the phone after a short talk & sketchy update.  She needs an advocate, big time, just like we were for Mom through the years.  And, because of my own stupidity, I'm stuck in Pennsylvania, unable to do anything.

Even the car we'd been lent by remarkably generous friends went on the fritz. As I watched it drive away down Pheasant Run, I crumpled.  

Mim's doctors apparently have indicated that they basically can't do anything, but still want to put her on IV nutrition, which she doesn't want, but she doesn't have the energy to fight for her preference rather than theirs. 

Stupid!  Stupid!  Stupid!  How could I have left the ignition on?  I mean, who does that??  Okay, John reminds me I'd just learned about Mim, but come on - who does that?

Mim needs me & I'm stranded.

And it gets worse - no wheels, no clients.  No clients, no cash.  No cash, no way to pay for even the most optimistic car repair.

Feeling like I let everyone down.  Wait - I did.

Daily Kos is wearing blinders

A post spotlighted in Daily Kos claims this about the South & slavery:

Southerners stole people. They robbed people of their freedom. And they did not just rob them of their liberty and their labor, they robbed them of their progeny. They robbed their descendants of a future. This is the heritage of the South. This is the infamous Lost Cause that many today still consider so noble that they have enshrined it into a veritable altar at which we are expected to pay homage. Or at the very least respect.


The last two sentences are, in my opinion, undeniable.  But the first five?  Those are equally true of the North, and we must never forget it.

Southern planation owners made vast fortunes & lived fabled lives off the back of their slaves, but the people who made the BIG money were slave traders, ship builders, shipping companies, and others up North.  AETNA, JP Morgan, NY Life, Fleet Boston - these are just a few of the major corporations with deep roots in the slave trade.

The North didn't take up arms against the United States, but it was far from blameless when it came to slavery.    

If we don't acknowledge that slavery was a crucial foundation of the North's economic power, we can never address its evils in the South. 

One reason Mim HAS to get better

 

Zentangles are right up her creative alley - meant to get her a book & papers months ago, kept putting it off.  Okay, Mim - the artist in you has got to convince your body it still has inspirations to follow!

 

I fall to pieces

What is going on?  I write what is hopefully the practically final draft of a crucial, long-delayed "crowdfund" request  - and my life seems to fall to pieces.

• Mim's very serious hospitalization; 
• Gunny massively overheating because a distracted moi left the engine running when I parked; 

• Not being able to figure out why I can't connect to Facebook (can't easily connect to family & friends with Mim updates); 
• Challenges to notifying my brother in Australia; 
• Worrying about Mim;  An exhausting drive to & from her hospital in NJ - Peter lives about an hour in the opposite direction and we headed home at rush hour;  
• Canceling dinner with a grannie client - at least I realized early on there was no way we'd be back in time, but it was a disappointment & a financial ding; 
• Canceling a fun event I'd planned for last night at a local senior residence (smart, but again - disappointing); 
• Forgetting to call Mim last night.  

It felt like one thing after another - all since Tuesday.  

Now, fresh calamity has struck - another car conked out on me!  At least, this time it wasn't (I don't think) my fault.

John kindly & generously took a grannie client out to dinner on my behalf last night, leaving me collapsed on the couch.  He swung by later so I could join them on a sunset ramble & dessert.  My older friend LOVES rambles, even in the light rain, especially ending up at Ben & Irv's for ice cream & some friendly banter with the great staff.

We got home around 10:00 p.m., with me behind the wheel.  As I parked the car, on loan from friends, the engine shut off & I took the key out, but a soft whirling sound came from under the hood.  It had happened once or twice with me; John mentioned it had happened when he'd parked at Ben & Irv's.  When it happened before, the sound stopped in a few moments.  Not this time.

As I sat writing several older2elder & DreamReweaver posts in the computer studio, the sound of the soft whirl could be heard over the pitter patter of rain.  By then, it was too late to call our friends & ask if they knew what was up (although, in hindsight, it might have been wise, even if we woke them from a sound sleep - but no one wants to bring on the heart-clenching fear of getting a late-night call).  Around 11:30 p.m., John went out to check & sure enough - the engine wouldn't turn over.  But the whirling sound still persisted.  

This morning, I went downstairs to get my cell phone, where I have the grannie client's daughter's cell phone # - and it was dead as a door nail, in spite of having been fully recharged yesterday.  Will have to wait until 9:00 a.m. to let her know I won't be able to take her mom to church.  Then, I have to call my friends about their car.  Not the Sunday I envisioned.   

After three years of talking about it, I finally write a crowdfund draft that feels right, feels like it will help get me on track helping revitalize, reinvent our nation's culture around the aged & elderly.  And everything falls to pieces.  What is going on here??

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Mim 06/27/15

My sister, Mim, is in the hospital.  From what we're hearing, it's very serious.  Mim's attitude is upbeat, but her personal outlook for the outcome is grim.

Mim was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday night, through the emergency room.  When I learned about it, it struck me as strange that I took it so calmly.  Mim is my only sister.  For over 1/3 of my life, she was the sun of my solar system.   So much of who I am & what I'm accomplishing tracks back to her.  So it felt weird to feel so unmoved.  Alas, as calm as I felt consciously, my subconscious was flipping out - I left my car running, as I discovered when someone came into where I was having dinner to tell me that smoke was billowing out from under my hood.  

So much for not being struck down by the news.

Yesterday (using a borrowed car), John & I headed west to pick up my oldest brother, Peter, who lives about an hour from us, then east to the Toms River, New Jersey hospital where Mim is tucked away.  

As I expected, Mim was in exceptionally good spirits, joshing with the staff, smiling & making light of her situation without dismissing it.  On the one hand, she looks shocking.  On the other hand, there is that familiar inner light, that quick & ready wit, that self-deprecating smile & readiness to look on the brighter side, if there was one.

A biopsy was done on Wednesday;  she says it can take seven (7!) days to get results.  Seriously?!  

Mim doesn't seem to be in a lot of pain, but she'd never let on if she was.  

Am kicking myself because I forgot to call her today - was pretty zonked out after yesterday - and won't be going to visit tomorrow, as I'd expected.  In addition to being hesitant about putting so many miles on a friend's car, it hit me that it's Sunday, which means shore traffic heading back home.  That is NOT something I'm up to handling, no matter whose car I'm driving.  So, will satisfy myself with a phone call to Mim & to her friend who's acting as Mim's advocate & hospital liaison.

It's hard to know the best way I can be support to Mim.  Being who she is, am sure that she'll let me know if I ask.  

I think about how Mim looked when we saw her yesterday.  Yes, her body & all the things sticking out of it looked ill.  But no one would guess her age by looking at her face, watching her talk.  Early thirties - maybe.  But 71?  No way!  

There is not now nor ever has been anyone like my sister.  I have no idea what lies ahead, but will do all I can to be what she needs at every turn.  It's hard to be without a car, to be stranded on the other side of the Delaware.  But it is what it is.  

It is what it is - that's what Mim said several times yesterday about her condition.  She's been seriously ill before & pulled out of it.  Fingers are crossed that it will be the same this time.

My hope is to post something every day on this blog about Mim's condition.  Mim's name & the date will be in the subject line, perhaps with more.  

Prayers welcome! 

Kevin Jackson - "Liberals created Dylann Roof"

In an earlier posting, I mentioned that Kevin Jackson, appearing on Fox News, said, "liberals created this kid that shot up this church."  I wasn't the only person intrigued by that observation.  A reporter over at The Washington Post asked him if he could clarify what he meant.  He did, in no uncertain terms:


He’s (Dylann Roof) a Millennial, i.e. very non-racial according to all data. He didn’t grow up in a white-supremacist family. So he’s a product of culture, a culture Liberals own. From the moment he hit school, in his generation, boys are bad. White boys are worse.

While he played with all kids of all colors and got along, when the time for playing ended, and it was time to get his “higher education,” he hit the wall of Affirmative Action.

Then, when it’s time to get a job, he gets more Affirmative Action.

Saida Grundy made it all too clear that the institution that Liberalism built, “Lower Ed” has no place for white males (or white people) so much so that wackademics prefer to be Indians (case in point Elizabeth Fraudzilla Warren), or blacks (case in point Rachel “HBCU Hates Me” Dolezal).

At some point, Roof had to medicate to deal with his Liberal-created psychosis, and policies of the Left won’t let him be called “insane” and put away from the public. So he FED his psychosis with a healthy dose of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Gardner, and others, until he snapped.


I'm just letting his words speak for themselves. 

Bravo, Fox News!

 

 High fives & a mega shout out to Fox News for posting this opinion -

ObamaCare ruling: Supreme Court got it right on health care subsidies

  - on this morning's SCOTUS ruling.  Well written, good points, informative.
  

Of course, thanks to Dr. Sreedhar Potarazu for writing such a lucid response to the ruling.