inspired generalist

From my teens, I’ve placed more faith in being an inspired generalist.  Nothing against folks who specialize in narrow fields of interest.  The world needs – and respects – them.  Just not me.

From my  early teens (alas, for a misguided reason) I longed to be a teacher.  The local (very powerful) educational powers-that-be were discomforted by my decision to get my a general Liberal Arts degree in religion & philosophy, with a minor in history, rather than the straight & (very) narrow Ed degree.  Twice  before graduating, I was called before the (titular, if not actual) head of the Ed Dept to EXPLAIN  MYSELF, why I wasn’t following the standard path, did I realize the consequences.  My unorthodox choice bothered the powers-that-be & they wanted it remedied.

The reality was that I had no interest in teaching people.  My interest was 4-square in educating them.  Was then, is now.

You’ll find the roots of educate in the Latin word, ducere – to draw or lead.  Partner that with the all-important “e” to get its full meaning ~ to draw forth & lead OUT.   

Think of teachers (from Old English taecan, "to show, declare, warn, persuade") as those who impart knowledge for the sake of accumulated learning.  While educators aim to draw out gifts & understanding already in a student (whatever the age) for the sake of leading to wisdom. 

Seems to me that a teacher’s main role is to impart, while an educator’s is to engage. 

It’s been a blessing to have known many teacher/educators in my life, as a child & adult.  But it’s my experience that the one who is most appreciated by school administration are the ones who can quantify within their given school year the results they produce.   

Many years ago, I heard that our local administration would be letting a teacher go at the end of the school year.  I asked, “Is it Robert?”  The person sharing the news was startled – “You saw there were problems with him, too?” they asked.  Quite the contrary, I explained.  A few years before, when I was volunteering in the school, I’d seen him in the classroom & immediately recognized a truly inspired educator.  He was brilliant, had a lasting affect on his students – and completely confused the school hierarchy, who couldn’t comprehend his out-of-the-box methods.

I’ve never focused on the norm.  Not because I was a rebel, but just because it never registered.

Back in my corporate days, colleagues warned me I’d never get ahead if I kept giving credit where credit was actually due rather than keeping glory earned by a team for myself.  Later, working in high-end customer service (given the high-falutin’ title Account Executive), supervisors warned me that my on-phone time was too long, beyond prescribed times per call, that I was too cheerful, too transparent, too too.  Yet, somehow I managed to rack up a record of successes at three Fortune 500 companies.  

 Not that the execs ever felt comfortable with my blatantly unquantifiable style & methods, but they couldn’t argue with my successes.

It took until my late fifties to finally become fully comfortable with the fact that I make a lot of people – particularly people in positions of power – uncomfy.  They want quantifiable results to feed into a computer.  My strength lies in the irksome intangible. 

I’ve learned that the majority of people in power aren't okay my "off the grid"  style.  I wonder sometimes if they are uneasy with me being so non-standard issue because it might cast doubt on whether they are.    

Hey, I’ve been an inspired generalist since forever.  Not my choice, my reality.  My hope is that I am & always remain open & embracing of the gifts & graces of the inspired specialist.  That I’m always willing to take the well-paved highway, when it is the best choice, rather than insisting on sticking to the unbeaten path. 

Life is about balance.  It needs inspired generalists & equally inspired specialists.  It needs sloggers who sees what needs to be done & keeps at it until completion.  It needs the folks who don’t want to have to do much thinking, just let them get on with the prescribed task at hand.  It needs everyone with all their best qualities.  Even those too-often blinded powers-that-be & hierarchies of power!

A friend is someone who...

 

A friend is someone who likes you.

Sitting on the couch a few moments ago, feeling pretty good about having gotten the last of this week's "exam week" goodies to local high school juniors (delayed due to snow), listening to the quiet, it got me to thinking about friends, what treasures they are, how important it is to value & nurture them.

An older friend of ours didn't believe I was friendless in my school days.  Lots of pleasant acquaintances, but real friends?  No.  So different from my here & now.  

While there are few folks with whom I share priceless memories of my younger years, am so blessed to have made so many deep, meaningful connections over the past 25+ years.  Funny, how friendship became easy once I found my best friend in the universe - John.  Funny, how he didn't have close friends either - until after we married.  

Samuel Coleridge was spot on when he wrote, Flowers are lovely; love is flower-like.  Friendship is a sheltering tree.  

Much as the older friend finds it impossible to believe I was friendless through my teens, those barren, yearning years left me doubly appreciative of the shelter it provides, in my marriage, in the circle of friends that surrounds us. 

 

Jane Jan Izzie Fay Joy Myra Danielle

 

Confession - I have a reputation for being a dismal comittee person.  I admire those who serve so well on the committees that make our world go 'round, but have long lacked the core skill set - patience, diplomacy, the ability to ask the insightful question.

For decades, I took that as an effectiveness-sucking lack.  Now, I take it as part of my core self & not beat myself up for it.

My reality is that when I see something needs doing, I don't want to wait.  Looking over my successes, can see how that quality helped create good, great, WOW!  Imagine what I could do with a little more patience.  The diplomacy, the ability to see big pictures & ask insightful questions - am getting better, even having fun doing what I can to make them part of my skills tool kit.

Have been musing on this for a week, ever since Jane Bostock DeCharms' memorial service.  Keep remembering the minister's comment about Jane - in tandem with Jan Boericke - being a driving force behind making our local senior residence a reality.  

Which got me thinking about how Jan was also a driving force in saving Cairnwood, transforming it from a crumbling building to a fabulous event space that's the very heart of the Bryn Athyn Historic District.  

Which got me to thinking about Fay, Joy, Izzie & Myra - the driving forces behind Bryn Athyn Thrift Shop. 

Which got me thinking about Danielle, the driving force behind our little hometown's world renown gardens & Bryn Athyn Bounty Farm Market.

     

Being a visionary doesn't rule out being an effective committee person, just as being a whiz at serving on committees doesn't cripple your vision.  Each of those women prove it.  And we have the retirement village, the renown thrift shop & the stunning event space to prove it!

 

In each situation, getting the vision accepted by decision makers, getting the green light to make each so, took time.  Patience.  Focus.  It took heart & soul commitment to their final goal.  It took inspiration & hard work & the ability to turn set backs into steps forward.  

When I chafe at the bit to get going with my deepest dreams for a community  renown for nurturing & supporting engaged, energized, empowered aging - from infant to ancient - will think about those remarkable women.  Will dig down deep for more patience, greater diplomacy, clearer eyes for seeing the big picture, keener ability to ask the insightful question.  Recognize where I need work, build my strengths.  Stay focused, work hard & turn set backs into steps forward. I have some unforgettable trail blazers showing me the way!

~ ~ ~

Do YOU know someone who combined the awe of a visionary with the roots of a committee person?  Shout their praises from the roof tops!  (Or leave a high-five comment!)

Why I Write!

 

Looking forward to next weekend's Why We Sing III concert!   And it got me pondering a similar but different thought - Why I Write.

Because I write.  A lot.  Three - Dream Reweaver, older2elder, o2e Bookshelf - on regular basis, one (The Velveteen Grammie) a reposting of Mom's 2000-01 e-mails, and a couple simply when the mood moves me. 

Why the outpouring?  Writing helps me think, get clarity.  Including feelings.  Especially feelings.

 

The first bit of writing I did of special note was a letter to a high school classmate, written the summer after graduation.  She was my first honest-to-goodness friend friend.  Ever.  We were chums for junior year - a wonderful experience.  But it changed in senior year - 1969-70 - as she was relatively radicalized (well, radical for my little hometown) while I stayed as is.  I wrote thanking her for her friendship, recognizing how our relationship had taken us on different paths, but the friendship remained & someday those paths might reconnect or at least intersect.  It was my honoring of someone & something that mattered to me.

In college, my Psych 101 lab paper examined - me.  Let's face it - everyone's life is worth a special ponder.  I felt cursed but ultimately blessed to have an above average funky childhood, with what felt at times like more than my fair share of unusual people, challenging situations, life-pausing moments.  At nineteen, took the opportunity to step back, look at what I saw, write about it.  Got an A.  It was my honoring of a time & people - especially younger versions of yours truly - that mattered to me.
 

Writing has always kept me balanced. Writing things out helps me see the possible other side.  Seeing Roshomon - at a ridiculously young ten years old -  clued me into there always being Another Side.   

Writing kept me balanced in a family where I was the only verbal one, at least after Ian died.  Writing helped me understand why being non-verbal gave the others the edge in any dust up or disagreement.  Became fascinated, seeing how the studies about verbal v. non-verbal communication is reflected in writing as well as speech.  It helps me stay patient in the craziness of today's world, having learned long ago that mute emotion will always hold sway over reasoned talk.

Dad was verbal, but limited by being typical of his age - at-home communicating was left to Mom.  My former sister-in-law nailed Mom - "For someone who praises communication, you do damn little of it."  Praise be, I could see myself in Dad.  And that on the rare occasions we actually talked, what he said made an immense difference in my life, to this day.

 

Writing was my sanity valve.  

Now, it gets to be more, much more.  

 Instead of just keeping me balanced, it lets me voice ME.  

Writing lets me freely share all I know about aging expansively, to contribute to my beloved hometown & birth church, to let me spread & flutter my wings, lifting up & away from my cocoon.

Writing is liberation & joy, useful & fun, lets me see the incredible steps & people who got me here while zooming me up & up & up.

I write because I have not other choice.