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What a blessing to be reading Scroll II from Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World.   

It cuts through whatever is going on in the world around me & gets to the heart of reality – LOVE.   

That’s it.  

Always was,  always will be.   

Everything else is smoke & mirrors, monkey chatter, faint hearts & false crowns.

We are born to greet each day with love in our heart, with gratitude for all that is.  

That’s it, all she wrote.  

Everything else is detail & distraction.

tick tick tick

One of those mornings where my post-4:00 a.m. slumbers tumbled with thoughts that ached to be written down almost (not quite) as much as I hoped to get back to sleep.  So it's funny that what's getting posted has nothing to do - well, not directly - with the topics that teamed up with the sheep being counted!

Just now, in the bathroom, was thinking about how much I seriously bugged the rest of my family - well, maybe not Dad, but he died too young for me to ever know.  But the rest?  Absolutely!

From my youngest years, I was a digger, where the rest were glossers.  My goal was to get at what was happening, at drawing a bead on events & the WHY behind stuff, a quality that irritated & irked my "let things lie" brothers sister mother s-i-l (although she likes to think otherwise).  

That inquiry turned inward, as I made my way through my late 20s, into my 30s, and had the unexpected experience of having professional rugs pulled out from under my firmly planted feet.  Turned into questions about what made ME tick, what was it about me was so different from the rest of my biological grouping, from others around me. 

Praise be for marrying a laid-back fellow who was okay with all my delving & digging & pondering the tick tick tick of life, in spite of not sharing my passion for getting at the why!

The longer I'm married to John, the deeper I believe we're each born with certain characteristics that circumstances influence, can send off in this direction or that, but that don't change our core.  I was born a digger, although it took me decades to let it rip.  

KEEP MOVING FORWARD is my mantra, in spite of a few health issues.  Walk briskly with me down the Pennypack Trail for a few minutes & you'd soon find me getting a bit wobbly due to a bothered left leg/foot & breathing funky.  Am in a race between the decline of my general fitness & 02/07/17, when Medicare kicks in.  

Friends are weirded out that I'm not anxious about my frayed fitness, not using the money that goes toward books & workshops & conferences on blood work & MRIs & regular doctor visits.  For years, I chalked it up to Lockhart fatalism, but is seems much more.  Someday, I'll die.  But will i have truly fully exuberantly LIVED?  

Right now, the things that call out to be done require that I learn & experience as much as possible, right now.  Sure, I can see their reasoning, but the past year has shown me the wisdom behind taking the tack I took.  

Everything gained over the past six years has set me on a path where NOW it's possible to move boldly forward, to get projects out of my heart into my head & out to the world.  It feels like I finally have the wherewithal to be the mover & shaker this irksome daughter/sister was born to be, rattling the rafters of the world with new visions of better & better & better living for everyone, regardless of perceived borders & self-imposed boundaries.
 
As I write this, am reminded of the line from Field of Dreams - If you build it, he will come.  As I write this, it hits me that all of my digging & delving & wondering really came back to the same thing - what was it about me that drove my family up a wall so much that my three surviving sibs & even Mom felt so exasperated by me, that made my brothers & sister spell it out that the last place they wanted to be was anywhere near me?  

The answer ~ drum roll, please ~ was discovering I'll never know, that the truth is that each of them really don't know, that a lifetime of conjecturing won't yield KNOWING.  But last night, my oldest brother called to find out how the conference went, sounded genuinely excited to get the details, complimented me for being a natural at connecting & building relationships.  

Seems my entire life has been about digging out what makes me tick, appreciating it's different from others, respecting those differences even when they drive ME up a wall.  It's why I invest my barely disposable income into experiences that take me deeper into inquiry understanding inspiration.  It's why I have even bigger plans for the next six months, putting me in an ab fab place to celebrate not only my Big 65 but even more so my life.  

Ever since I got home early Sunday evening, I've told all & sundry what a mind-blowing, transformative experience the weekend had been, from every aspect of the trip down to D.C. to Ashton's book talk to the International Conference on Positive Aging to my stay with Mina & Tim.  But until just now, until literally writing this blog posting, it didn't hit me that the most magical moment of all happened a full two days after checking out of the Capital Hilton - my oldest brother called, sounded proud of his baby sister & praised me for being who I am.  


Over the years, people have looked fairly askance when I talk about how my life is & has always been touched with magic.  Magic is life working the way as it was intended, the way we were created to experience.  Ever since meeting loving marrying John, my life has seemed filled with magic.  I would not be here if the two of us weren't opening new possibilities experiences worlds for each other.  

I thank the generous loving AWESOME Universe that brought us together, that made me able to do what presents itself to be done.  I thank the countless friends & pleasant acquaintances whose financial emotional spiritual support helped keep us in place when our lives were in upheaval.  We could not be where we are if they had not been there when we were in truly dire straits.  

All of them - especially the Universe & our steadfast belief in All That Is - help us keep moving forward, finding what makes us tick & making it matter.

SACRED CITIZENSHIP ~ oneness, respect & love

Stephen Dinan's recently published book, Sacred America, Sacred World - fulfilling our mission in service to all, promises to be a welcome respite for anyone buffeted by the 2016 presidential campaign, a singularly bizarre experience whatever your political stripe may be.  

I've just made it through the foreword, written by the incomparable Marianne Williamson, which has me eager for the rest of the book, which will include "questioning the limitations as well as the highest principles of both the right and the left." 

All the rest of Marianne's foreword leaves me filled with anticipation for what will come.  All but that thought about sacred citizenship. If there is one thing that seems emblematic of today's right ~  not the alt-, but the semi-traditional !~ is its deeply rooted sense of American exceptionalism, which seems contrary to any sense of "oneness," certainly across nationalities.  Consider that statement within the alt-right (white nationalists) & just forget it altogether.
 

How does "oneness" agree with Americans who long for the return to gays staying discreetly closeted, who want transgender children to use the bathrooms that match up with their original sexual designation, who see all African-Americans as poor drug-addled violent?  Who want to benefit from the labor of illegal immigrants at the same time they want to send them packing back south of the border?  

How does "respect" come into play with people who seek to stay firmly within their own racial or religious "kind," criticizing shunning condemning those who are different from their own beliefs traditions culture?

And "love" - it feels like so many people have even forgotten the meaning of the word.  Across all ethnic, cultural & even religious groups, hate seems more readily expressed than love understanding compassion.

Like Stephen Dinan & Marianne Williamson, I will pray & work actively toward a new thought & political system that will be hallmarked with "sacred citizenship" based on & embodying oneness, respect, love.  Five days ago, I would have scoffed at those words, at that hope.  But I've learned that a miracle embraced believed lived can turn into reality.  

Maybe it's not that the hope is impossible in today's political environment, but that it is the very thing needed to turn the current insanity back to balance health wholeness -  and holiness. 

What I learned from doing the Front Room kitty littler.

A pro has the right tools already with her when she checks to see if a task needs doing, an amateur checks unprepared, empty handed.

permission to be STUPID

And unprepared.  Free to START without overthinking.  Begin first, research later.

From the moment I watched The Legend of Bagger Vance, I was hooked on the bits & pieces of wake-up wisdom flitting throughout the film.  When I discovered that Steven Pressfield - The War of Art - had written the book, knew it was a must read.  The film inspired, the book blew me AWAY.  There are times it truly feels hallucinogenic, in the sense that Timothy Leary advocated "magical mushrooms" for expanding consciousness & awareness. 

The slim volume was a transformational book, building on all the lessons learned over 64 years, providing a culmination of all the AH HA moments of my life.  A serious CLICK of my mind's safe, unlocking the awe.  Instead of rereading the treasure, I followed my instincts - they've proven trustworthy - and immediately dipped into  Do The Work, which blew me away with its "Yeah, baby!" shares.

One of the core things it gave me permission to be was STUDIP, to start before being prepared, for jumping in & letting lose. 

This is not new knowledge.  This is insight perception wisdom that I've known from the cradle, writ large.  It is homecoming.

What I learned from 3 seasons of cast parties & 5 Cairnwood Village brunches

My heart fluttered with excitement on discovering Crate & Barrel’s 9x13” Bake & Store Casserole.  Oh joy!  I can make my own version of mac & cheese, a hash brown breakfast casserole, Company Chicken plus Artichoke & Spinach Lagasne, fully prep them, seal them with their lids & let ‘em rest in the fridge for up to two days, then either bake ‘em & reheat in a microwave or do the deed at the time of the event.

Then, my practical side took over.  Wait – seems blissful & each lidded casserole is an affordable $14.99, BUT…  If I use two 9x13” aluminum pans there’s no clean up – just dump the empty baking dish in the trash.  BUT… that’s environmentally unsound.  BUT… balance the recyclable aluminum against the water needed to wash each dish.  BUT…

That, it turns out, is the #1 thing I’ve learned from doing 3 seasons of cast parties & 5 brunches for our local senior residence – it often takes a lot of questions, which I only learned through experience, to arrive at a well-planned, well-executed, well-received party where everyone (including yours truly & my O Best Beloved) has a good time.

Wow – what a great recipe for Pizza Casserole!  Wait – how much prep work is involved?  Do the comments reflect a dish that is basically tasty or exceptional?  What’s the cost?  In this case, the answer was – baked ziti would make people just as satisfied at ½ the labor & ¼ the cost.

Do the entrees, nibbles & desserts include options that are suitable for gluten-free & or dairy-free folks?  (Interesting – this isn’t an issue for my older friends.  Go figure?

Do the four casseroles include at least one gluten-free option, one dairy-free?  If there are two recipes featuring a marinara sauce, can we flip it to an Alfredo?  (In the case of the Artichoke & Spinach Lasagne, it’s even better!)  Are they all easy to serve?  (The WHY behind the same casserole being made with bowtie pasta instead of lasagna noodles.)  Do I make the chili from scratch or gussy up canned?  (Jury is out.)  Do I serve with Jennifer’s homemade bread of my version of Cheddar Bay Biscuits?  (both)  Do I try a vegan Triple Corn Chowder or just throw caution to the winds & go with the super rich version?  (Go full throttle.) 

The one thing that was a given was making the Company Chicken Casserole with faux chicken, making it MOCKingbird Company Casserole, perfect for the fall season’s production of – you guessed it – To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Do I make the Apple Pie Spread or go with the brick of cream cheese slathered with Cross & Blackwell’s Major Grey Chutney?  (The latter – just as YUM & way easier.)  Sliced apples with a dip?  My signature crackers or stick with store bought?  (The former – they’re really easy & fun to bake, can customize the seasons AND can bake them in the shape of a bird& leaves, both suitable for the show.)  Do I take the time to make Lemon Meringue Tartlettes or stick to purchased cream puffs?  (Easy answer – cream puffs.)

Lucy Van Pelt once told Charlie Brown that the secret to success isn’t knowing the right answers, but asking the right questions.  That’s what I learned from my 3 seasons of cast parties & 5 brunches – to recognize a good question, to catch on where there is a possible alternative waiting to be considered.  That was part of my learning process that had been neglected over the years.  It was the surprising bonus of doing the same thing (cast parties) over & over, of doing a lot of the same thing over a relatively short period of time (the brunches.)

People ask why I tackle the parties, which most others avoid like the plague, and invest so much time & my own resources & $$ into the brunches.  I get out of doing them far more than I put in.

Beginning with learning to ask the right questions at the right time.